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Thursday, September 3, 2015

Update/Phones stolen

Hey guys and gals.


Lisha here.

Got my phone stolen  near Chinatown. Its the second time this has happened. Sucks.
I have too many health issues and fam members who need to contact me, and also work and such to have my shit stolen. pretty pissed at:


David "Nero Drexel" Ellis for touching me and trying to make me a part of his harem when I was not sober enough to consent to anything. He even sent a picture of himself to my phone before I blackout *Keisha of SugarGamers never ever went to check up on me when this guy would NOT leave me alone. Cosplay does not equal conest


Tunde Turner aka Liquid Mojo: for cheating me out of content, money, time, brain health, sanity, and also for perhaps profiting off of our work or personal photos, and being a stupid bitch.

Jade Barry; a liar, who the fuck cares if you did porn? You were used for a 3some, not to get knocked up by the dude. You were not paid to stay or take someones man, or tell your x to "go kill himself " since he was depressed. I used to be concerned about your eating disorder andweight issues, and wanted for you to atleast have Black*Cherry  to hang out with, but you pretended that no one liked you so people could feel sorry for you.


Tomasa "Tomo" "Tomojewel" "Tama" Jackson: for being a fake ass "friend" /"gal sister"/ you tried my patience and used it up, wore it out. You wanted to steal my boyfriend, and L.A. and Johnny told me about you. You only said "sorry" when you were drunk. I was too nice to still even be cordial with you when you were trying to fuck my man at Xport when Murphy was at the dorms.






Anyway.... I;ll prolly bitch later.

I want my 2 goddamn black Hydrobvibes right now, because I have work and shit to actually do than do shitty make up, be a slacker, fail classes, poison people, rape people, or be a shitty person. Like my Ex used to say, "fuck it all".

Monday, August 17, 2015

Video Analysis - M3LL155x

I was very excited to watch Twigs latest video, M3LL155x . The videography is awe inspiring and takes full advantage of what can be done in music videos.

Seeing a humanified Anglerfish in there was awesome.

Dress me up, I'm your doll.
Love me rough, I'm your doll.

In my perspective, after the beginning song gives me an impression of a Twigs who is sexy especially in the eyes of a (white) male, making her 'exotic' and inhuman like a cheaply made, mass produced blow up doll; only to be consumed, used up, left and forgotten.

In dating, being in the gyaru community, being a female, I can definately see how men can reduce human female bodied persons to an inanimate object to be used only for sexual purposes.

You've got a goddamn nerve.

Twigs wakes up, pregnant with a child after having been used up. Before giving birth, her water breaks, paint spilling out, and a (Black) man looking disgusted with her.

In this part of the video, a person more of her ethnicity seems to cast her out due to her being impregnanted by a white male.

Now hold that pose for me.

Twigs gives birth to her own 'minions' ,one still with childlike curiosity and another that appears to be her alternate self, bound to herself in Creepy Yeha's fashionably erotic bondage pieces.

With my own experiences, I see it as a story of destructive lust in an interracial coupling,  and fighting through the pain it can cause when you dehumanize a woman who can bare children and reduce her to those functions.
The white man who uses her is no where to be seen in the later half of the video at all, something that people who have grown up without a father have experience with.

What's your thoughts on her new video?

Sunday, July 12, 2015

Rebirth

This may be a bit tmi and its a very personal tidbit of my life that I hid even from my family til now.
2011/2012
I was back on fetlife again, feeling terrible still about the gender I was forced into accepting. I posted a photo, showing myself in all its 'glory'. People fapped over the pix while I felt differently. I had wanted gender reassignment surgery for a long time and a lot of people I knew thought it was all a phase.
I recieved a message from one male individual saying or joked that he was an ax murderer and if I was the only one who could photograph myself naked.
I wasn't in my normal mind, and eventually met up with said photographer with a friend, Tomo from Black*Cherry. The photoshoot was done with a female photographer present on the first 2 shoots.
The third one, just me and the photographer, he had pushed his boundaries with me; pressing himself too close to my thighs while doing simple ropework on me, or having his pantsed penis near my face as I was lying bound on the bed. (A big nono for proffessional work).
He had eventually asked/wanted things to be unproffessional: he wanted sex (even mentioned getting tax money back at a restaurant up north near the Rosemont area for sex/escort services which I just stared at him blankly) and wanted to dispose the model and photographer relationship we had).
The first time we were intimate, his roommate (or sexual sub female) wasn't there. He played 'Corrupt' by Depeche Mode and wanted me stripped down + in a blind fold. When forced himself inside, it felt like like my insides were going to rip. It hurt badly. I wasn't used to his size! 
I wasn't the type of outgoing person in general and he'd blow me off, telling me what he thought I
I wanted to hear ( compliments on my looks don't do anything for me because it can be way too phony for me. ) He'd promise to take me out or tell me I wasn't too direct with what I wanted. It'd be about a month til he'd actually set aside time for me or make me feel a bit bad for not fawning over him as if he was the most handsome man ( not in my nature + I don't compliment like that or be phony).
After one date and him driving me back to my neighborhood ( this was supposed to mean he liked me or something) he told me he'd think of what to label our relationship and that he could buy coke in my neighborhood too. I was confused. 
I was also blank faced + taken aback from him asking to choke me out til I passed out.
He was also rough and liked to do breath play and slap me hard in the face. My depressive and suicidal side loved it. My normal self? Withdrawn way deep inside my mind...
After snooping on his Fetlife, I found out he had two sexual subs, not only increasing my risk for disease, but also witholding that info from me for whatever 'relationship' we had
My heart sank and I didn't eat for a week. The chemicals in my body from the shock of being lied to had me experiencing audio hallucinations + feeling like I was shrinking and the room I was in expanding. I was hurt!
He blamed me for falling in love with him and made excuses for him not telling me etc. It was my fault for 'falling' for him after the cuddling + bogus sweet nothings.
I was bad at communicating my discomfort or my disapproval, something I feel an Aspie and a male friend noticed about me.
I stopped talking to him after some months after meeting his daughter + the other sub he drank breastmilk from and was known to not tell her who he was seeing or fuckin in his 'poly relationship'.
2012/2013
I had some meetings of a therapist under my belt, met with people, but going through tough times with school, working and family.
We met up again, he even met my nerdy roommates too at the house I rented a room at.
He played me again. Telling me we'd meet up, saying I was too difficult to talk to. Taking me to cheap spots, beating me outside of a scene, not using a condom for 100% of sex play, saying I looked like a hooker and calling me cheap.
I was hurt and saw how cheap he was being after knowing how much pro dommes or subs made. I never got new or paid  photography work from knowing him or being put on his sites + instagram, and couldnt profit off the pix we did at all. 
I felt stupid again but realized how much he was cheating me and possibly why he is avoiding me again since last August or September.
I'm upset at myself for putting my brain + reproductive health in danger and getting no compensation from him.
I'm still taming my depression and managing possible schizophrenia with the help of loved ones and friends. Its been one hell of a journey for me and has affected so many areas of my life.

Thursday, June 4, 2015

Weddin' Season

Though I am still single for about 1 year and 7months now, the anxiety that comes with just thinking about marriage still pops up in my head:

Will I get married? Will I find someone who will actually be there for me? Will we be a good team together? Will they accept me for who I am? Will I accept them? Will they honestly like me for me?

Its not like I have been in a relationship for years or even ACTUALLY engaged to even have it be a big deal for me to freak out about it... but still!

Working at Joann Fabrics and Crafts and having to stock and price tulle, table decorations, sashes, and signage for people into diy wedding crafts and bachelorette parties.

Seeing an advertisement when I was working for Joanns about Joann Fabrics and Crafts about diying gifts and crafts for weddings.

I go to a karaoke bar about two months ago, and there are bridesmaids singing "Gangster's Paradise".

I windowshop in various places for deals and just passing time to turn around and see slightly tacky white blinged out things like "wifey" and "bride".

This past weekend while waiting in line to get into SoundBar, a group of bros (one was pretty cute though, ahahaha) was talking about one of the guys in the group being engaged and his last night of being a non married man. a group of ladies wearing fake leis following a bride to be with a not so matching white veil on her head... and two white guys calling themselves honkies and talking about "honky grits"... ok... that last bit was just a random part of a convo from waiting in line with them.

For me to be nearing my 30s (yikes!), time passing me by, and almost barely touching my goals if at all, I still get flustered by the fleeting thoughts and reminders in normal life that people do still get married to each other, and... that I may get hitched to someone in this lifetime. 

Maybe it won't be all that bad when it does happen, and I'll just have freak out moments with planning stuff out... I guess.

Enjoy this hilarious "horror" video about wedding season from Buzzfeed~!!


Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Alice: Madness Returns

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A few months ago, I started, played through and finished Alice Madness Returns, totally skipping the first part of the story that came out on pc years ago. American McGee’s Alice was on my list of horror fantasy games to play for many years before I got into playing titles like Fatal Frame, Silent Hill or Resident Evil, but console gaming proved easier for me.
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Alice Madness Returns follows the story of a dark haired Alice in a world that makes Tim Burton’s universes very Disney like. She is on a journey to saving herself in a dreary and depressing normal life and saving her own world, Wonderland from destructive outer forces and demonic looking foes with the help of a very sinister looking wide grinned Cat and unusual items for weapons. This mangy cat gives you very interesting advice, not only for in game usage, but interesting quotes to think on in general. Curiouser and curiouser!
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Her story gets darker throughout gameplay, shifting from general strangeness to the downright absurd and disturbing as you uncover parts of characters’ backgrounds and Alice’s story about the fire. Playing this game gave me a lot of “WTF” moments as my original memory of Alice in Wonderland as a fun and delightfully weird children’s tale was turned inside out with no effs given. There was still some of the charm within the game, but with the downright evilness of some of the characters and the helplessness of some of the others and very sickening depictions of olden day mental asylums, this game breathed a different kind of life into a tale a lot of us have known.
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I loved the Chesire cat’s and Alice’s updated character design from the first game, and also the graphics for the gameplay. I also admired the weapon designs to help it fit in this dark/dystopian/disturbing Wonderland. The game boards or places that she visited were done in a very creative manner to fit within this dark wonderland and I loved exploring them and seeing what each level had to offer in terms of surprises.
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I had to get used to the gameplay and not losing important battles, but I caught on quickly, and didn’t experience too many problems like with the game that came before with movement and quickness of responsiveness. (gameplay issues) The gameplay had progressed with this second installment and did not distract from the story line, nor did it make me overly frustrated which is a plus.
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Being into fashion and special abilities when it comes to games and replay value of a game, this game came through with different styled outfits for Alice to wear. The tentacle like dress and the Chesire styled ones were my favorites! I would totally replay this game and unlock more of the story line and hidden content.

Have you had a chance to play Alice Madness Returns? What did you think about it? Don’t be shy! Share your experience with us!

Saturday, May 23, 2015

Mortal Kombat: Time Travel

New-Mortal-Kombat-Logo
As a person who has played Mortal Kombat as a youngster, it made me quite pleased to know that the new Mortal Kombat was made in Chicago. To some people, this may not be an important bit of information.  To those who know where the game and game kompany originated from, this is a big deal!
Sonya
1536136-sonya_blade_largeThe first outfit I wanted to highlight is Sonya Blade’s halter top and leggings kombo. Her outfit is fitted to show off her muscles and strength, but very late 80’s early 90’s inspired. Her slightly loose high ponytail, and bangs is a very 90’s athletic look for her, but not very fashionable or kute.
Kitana
MKII_Kitana_Jade
Moving on to Kitana’s outfit… I would break down all of the princess’ fighting kostumes, but that would be far too redundant since they wore the same exact thing in the early Mortal Kombat games! Limited game memory for kharacters and all of that for the arcade and Super Nintendo. Old gen konsole problems.
The princess’  wore what looks like halter top styled swimsuits with knee high flat soled boots. No heels were worn in these earlier games, so foot gear was very practical for female fighters in the Mortal Kombat universe. Their fighting gear was sexy in a sense, but very subdued kompared to the feminine outfits of the more kurrent games that have been released.
Sindel
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Illustration by Jhonatas Batalha

Queen Sindel, one of the most recognized kharacters in the series is not exempt from this fashion post! Her outfit is more revealing than the other kharacters, and doesn’t have the halter top to secure the outfit at her shoulders/neck like the other ladies. She also wears longer boots that kover up most of her kalf than stopping at the knee.  Out of the female kharacters, her outfit is more “sexy” and too cheesy while not going overboard like in some fighting games.
With these visuals from the old MK games, how do you feel about the fashion direction of these klassic kickass female kharacters? Share your thoughts in the komment section below! We would love to hear from you!

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Acen 2015

Wowzers! Another Acen  has passed by!
Machii, Neesie, Tomo, Jade and I at my Gyaru Panel
I had my panel about gyaru fashion on Friday! I let people check out what was in my bag, answered questions about hair, make up and accessories, and had some guest speakers as well! It was a chill atmosphere, and I was glad people were able to come through.

Though I wish I danced the night away at Soap Bubble, I danced, shimmied, and bebopped along throughout the Dealer Hall's floor. 

I bought two books this year... A Kiki's Delivery service art book, and a Tabekoji one. heh heh heh. Um... it was totally because of the detail in the make up and hair! I promise!


 I didnt splurge a lot, but it was very tempting to do so! Too many cute kimono, art books, collectors figures, Legend of Zelda paraphernalia (who wouldn't want the classic and iconic Hyrulian shield or an ocarina?) and animal ears caught my eye this year.
From the MisoLucki shoppe
I had trouble picking out something from the MisoLucki shoppe. They had some super cool shirts and I was too tempted to get the shirt with Bruce Lee on it!!!
I thought buying something small would suffice... but there were too many cute and sassy pins and earrings. I asked a group to help me choose a pin with words while I settled on a decision that dealt with food. (^w^)

I even got cute hair ties and a super cute bag from Machii/Eteria. Apparently she likes to give gifts to new people. 


Julie from my high school! Hadn't seen her in 5 years!!
I met up with a lot of people that I hadn't seen in a while! From Alan and Dino (the two I met at a parapara panel years ago) to classmates from highschool and gals who were apart of the Chicago Diamond gyarusa, Black*Cherry/Gal*Luxy. We were all running around so it was hard to all come together and stay put this year, but even a quick hello brought joy to my heart.



Pic cred from Neesie!


Me and my sis as BlackWidow!

So cool!


Suiting up
 I tried on two kimono and Samurai armour too! I didn't get a lot of selfie's this year, but that's ok!

You can check out more pictures I posted on my post for SugarGamers here. I am required to redirect to her site and such. 







Anime Central: 2015


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My Little Pony
This Acen was filled with lots of familiarity; meeting and catching up with old friends  from school or the gyaru and cosplay community and of course some from SugarGamers, taking pictures, checking out tons of spectacular goodies in the Dealers Hall, and staying up super late. However, some things were different this year, including your Galtaku* , Lisha, having her own panel about gyaru fashion and totally missing the rave.KIMG0502
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Vincent and Sorceress Edea
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Alice (knight outfit) from Madness Returns “How’d you get so tall, Alice?”

At my panel, I took a lighthearted approach with describing the fashion and answering questions, even playing some Eurobeat music that had a parapara dance tied to it. I showed some of my essential items in my handmade denim purse, letting the audience see what make-up items I used for my look, the cards I used for getting discounts at stores, and what brand of lashes I favored.
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Cool style, Cool Tattoo
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What a deer! Her dress and flower headdress was so cute!
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I encouraged the audience to get up and look at the items I brought. I even had some of the local gals come up to answer questions that the audience had. I was glad I had a diverse audience to speak to and despite not having video for my panel, it worked out!
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My Little Pony

Though I did not get “turnt up” for the rave, I chatted with Monica, Kat, and Keisha, looked at gorgeous accessories and clothes from steampunk and traditional Japanese fashion, and even got suited up in Samurai armor! I was very tempted to buy a sword or a stylish kimono, but there were far too many beautiful designs to choose from!
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Samurai Gyaru! I don’t need a sword… I can use my nails!

Some of you might be wondering what the heck a “galtaku” is. It is a word that combines gyaru  (gyaru fashion or make up) and otaku (Japanese word for nerd).
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Ginyu Force
Though Acen is geared towards cosplay and Japanese oriented comics and animation, there were so many lolitas in varying styles and themes there! I had to oogle Akira’s line of vkei/gothic lolita clothes and accessories. Also… there were some Deadpool’s , even one in a pirate outfit, some Mr. Fawkes’, and friendly fuzzy furries strolling about. Not too many gyaru this year though!
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Chihiro and Kiki


Did you go to Acen this year? What panels did you attend or what did you buy for your gaming or fashion collection? Don’t be shy! Share!

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Reflections

Its funny... 
thinkin on it, 
how as a young adult, 
i made my way out to Oak Park to meet with people from the internet, that...
only one girl came to CT to meet with me.


and 

it took a long time for people to come out to see me... 

 i live further south than they did at the time. frown emoticon 

or being stood up when id invite people to art shows and stuff. 


like, people came in groups to see me in the hood (well, not too far south, of course. dont want chilrens gettin scared! lol) 

like, you cant come by yourself? lolololol.

i guess, that should have told me right then and there that i should have stopped talking to a certain person after being stood up so much!



the girl that came to CT with me
the one who didnt leave me hanging
alone on the train platform with my blue hair
made me really happy to be outside.

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Yuna- A Final Fantasy Jerk

Final Fantasy Jerk Offs: Yuna

The sweet looking, David Bowie eyed, high summoner of Final Fantasy 10 is second on the SG list of Final Fantasy Jerk offs!
Though some people may view Yuna as the hardworking daughter of Lord Braska, sacrificing her young life in order to save the people in the land of Spira, I found some evidence to dispute her total innocence.
Yuna scheming to lure Tidus in.


After Yuna summons Valefor, and is sitting with two elderly people and a child at night time, Yuna seeks Tidus’ thoughts on if she can become a High summoner or not. When he says yes, her tone of voice changes slightly when she “asks” if they are going to ride on the same boat when they depart so they have a chance to talk about Zanarkand.ffjerk2
While some people might think that she is flirting with Tidus, remember that her main goal is to collect the Aeons and have guardians protect her in her journey. Not necessarily have a hot and steamy relationship with the star player of the Zanarkand Abes.
Another instance, is when you have to fight against the strong Kimahri when you leave the temple in Besaid. After a few hits in, Wakka calls a stop to the fight, and Kimahri walks off. Yuna tells Tidus after the quick fight is over, that the Ronso warrior was her guardian when she was a child. She also goes on says that even she can’t understand him after all the time spent together.
“Aye! Yuna, get yo boy Kimahri!”
So, a new comer comes to join your party because he has nowhere to really go, wants to help the Besaid Aurochs from failing another Blitzball game, and you let (or don’t stop) a giant blue cat man from attacking him? Sounds pretty fishy to me Ms. Yuna!
Yuna_Portrait_FFX

Do you agree with Yuna making the list for Final Fantasy Jerk Offs? I would love to read your responses!