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Thursday, February 11, 2021

The Side Girl and the Ex Man


Her ex’s side chick did not stick up for Black Girl that was supposedly going to be exposed in the side chick’s gaming group for being a stripper. 

Her ex’s side chick had special time with him and vocalized it over the phone, and he wanted Black Girl to not dump him despite him cheating on her and never making amends.

Her ex’s side chick had other people in a gaming community call her evil despite her NOT being the one cheating on the ex. 

Her ex’s side chick doesn’t want her to remember all the times she yelled at her or talked bad about her group’s team members. 

Her ex’s side chick thought it was ok to want share used colored contacts. 

Her ex’s side chick was never there for her when her mom was dying or when the mom died.

Her ex’s side chick had been by her side for almost ten years. 

Her ex’s side chick didn’t want her group to have a space for events. She had to wait YEARS til a new girl and a college mate came into the picture for a collective event. 

Her ex’s side chick thought that she should trust a girl that years ago wanted to have sex with him at a fitness center’s jacuzzi behind her back and claimed that she’d never betray a friend when he told her they were sending pix back and forth. 

Her ex’s side chick wants her to be crazy so the fact that she remembered her popping up at a location only the ex knew (or anything else that happened that was negative) would just be her making things up. (To spare the side chick’s reputation) 

Her ex’s side chick wanted her to be in sex work and not the career she was preparing herself for.

Her ex’s side chick used other people, girls into jfashion etc,  to stall her and ruin projects and her reputation.

Her ex’s side chick didn’t like the fact that she graduated from college and the side chick didn’t or didn’t find it important.

The side chick made mention that the girl was too accessible, yet didn't criticize the man for allowing himself to be accessible to other women in a monogamous relationship.

The side chick never helped with resources for the girl, and plundered any new ones away.

The side chick said that she was such a bitch in front of a new girl and a college mate.

The side chick never supported the girl’s projects. 

The side chick never advocated for her.

The side chick would tell people at events that the girl was a stripper when she wasn’t  

The side chick betrayed the girl’s friend.

The side chick would micromanage the girl’s blog and tell her how to post despite the girl writing and posting for years. 

The side chick told her that she wasn’t special.

The side chick never checked up on her when she passed out from a contaminated drink at a work event for geeks and nerds into comics and science fiction and had her items stolen. 

The side chick told her there were lots of people investing into her group and that she could come along for the meetings... it never happened and the side chick was always “broke”.

The side chick created a business after the girl originally wanted to take on freelance of the same nature. 

The side chick bragged about how many men took her out to dinner.




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What would you do if you were in the girl’s shoes?


Monday, February 8, 2021

Dating advice pt 1

 Here is a collection of dating tips.

Do’s:

Date someone who supports you, your goals, and your accomplishments. 

Date someone who appreciates you. 

Date someone who doesn’t want you to become more depressed. 

Date someone that doesn’t want to have sex with all your friends. 

Date someone who can leave the relationship without putting all the blame on you.

Date someone who isn’t going to kiss and tell. 

Date someone who isn’t going to cheat on you and tell everyone and their momma that you cheated instead.

Date someone is mature enough to be able to talk out issues in the relationship to resolve them. (Lack of the ability to resolve issues or dismiss them is a sign that they don’t want to change their behaviour and doesn’t care if it affects you. Yes, older men do this too.) 


Don’ts 

Don’t date (or keep dating) someone who will worsen your depression or anxiety. Its a tactic for them to be able to pull the "my ex is crazy card" and discredit you. 

Don’t date someone who will make you feel insecure or enable bad or unhealthy decisions. 

Don’t date someone who will only want you back after you caught them cheating but never made efforts to keep you in the first place.

Don’t date someone who thinks it’s ok to have sex with your friends without your knowledge, or discussion of the do’s and donts of an open relationship.

Don’t date someone who thinks its ok to ruin your career or job status so you can't get away or afford the things you need to live. 

Don’t date someone who pressures you into a relationship too quickly.

Don’t date someone who shows a lack of interest in you. 

Don’t date someone who moves too fast into a relationship. Take it slow.




Wednesday, February 3, 2021

Dear Ash Woods

Sometimes we meet people who are so inspiritional and bring some light into our hearts. Even though some relationships don't last, their impact certainly can.

 When I was blogging a lot back in the day, around 2009 or so, and trying my best to overcome feelings from a relationship, I met someone who had similar interests with anime and such. Ashley Woods was her name, and she had made her own comic book, and even cosplayed as her own character! I thought that was so cool! When we finally met at an anime convention, we chilled for a bit. And later on,  she introduced me to some woman that kept messaging me on fb to meet me but I felt a better connection with Ashley. She had a great sense of humor, extremely talented, geeky and a lot like a big sister that I never had.

We spent time gaming, talking about anime, she got a peek into gal activities, I got to see her working hard, watching movies, talking about other interests too. It helped bring joy into my life.

But, I lost this friendship a little before my mom passed in 2013. Ashley had a professionally centered falling out with a girl that had become our mutual, (naming her “Coo”, aka the woman messaging me on fb.) She told me she deleted video content on “Coo’s” site that she worked on in protest. I was confused, but knew enough that it’s terrible to work hard on something and see your efforts get snatched away by someone else. Not to downgrade the work Ash did, but geez... she couldnt even get a consolation prize from the bigger company due to her work? 

Though I didn’t meant to side with the other chick, Coo, I never heard about anything like that before. Why would her friend betray her like that? After all the hard work she put in? Why did Ash tell me that the Coo stole her musical artist friend and shut Ash out? What did it mean that someone JUST wanted people in her audience? What? Was I a prop? 
Some time later when I was with Coo and then one of Coo’s subordinates, they wanted me to believe that Ash was mean for taking down the content, but never mentioned the compensation being the reason for it.  I guess they wanted me to side with them, and diss Ash for being “rude” and “unreasonable.” Mind you, these ladies were at least 25 or so while I was 21. 
This made me feel uncomfortable because Ash told me what was up, and eventually Coo and her sub dropped the issue when They might have figured out I knew more to the story. 
It made me feel uncomfortable at the time when I felt like things could be amended. 

I was even told to cut contact with Coo as well around 2011 early 2012.  After all, she seemed focused on reiterating that one of her group members who was a stripper would be exposed (to my knowledge, there were no strippers in her group at all. Weird.) I thought to myself  amidst of the turmoil I found myself in: <I>Why arent you advocating for them? If you claim they don’t want anybody to know, why aren’t you doing anything to protect them? </i> I let the conversation go and eventually hung up.

At the time, I was confused and even more so during a time when my mother’s cancer was worsening. I thought that I could try to keep things professional and have a nice collab with the group I was in and just keep it that way (the thing with Ash not fully sticking in my mind. Maybe I thought Coo would grow from it?) Would any compensation for the blogging I did be taken and I wouldn’t see anything for my efforts? I wasn’t exactly her friend, just a person blogging for her and taking a few selfies or whatever. After all, there was some minuscule  compensation ...I guess (non monetary for a long while). But also confused when I was told it was a non profit yet there were so many investors for Coo’s group. Huh? 

In the fall of 2013, my mom passed. Ash had known about her before this time and was the only person in my life that had really stepped up when I needed her. No one else that I associated with did (Even getting radio silence when I told our (formal) mutual Coo that I would need to take time off fir working on her projects due to losing my mom in 2013. ) When I felt down from seeing my mom get sicker, Ash was there. She was the type of person that definitely made sure you were good and in a way that was authentic.  But, I lost that friendship a while ago by hanging on to the person that betrayed her. I was confused, unsure of my decision in that regard and really let that ball drop. 

Ashley knew better and was a lot stronger in her decision making with that. In hindsight , She wasn’t going to allow someone to keep screwing her and potentially her career over. She also didn’t have a lot of dramatic things and plans constantly failing etc to keep her off her decision making. 
She was the big sister I never had and the only person that I feel had some of my best interests at heart. 

She knew. 
She warned me. But I didn’t understand back then. 


Miss you Ash. Thanks for helping me to understand things like this. Sometimes we have to learn by actually being in the action I suppose. 
 Thank you for being an amazing artist and giving me tips to elevate my art comic wise in case I ever decide to try to get back into it.  Thank you for letting me see your work flow for comic projects and even starring in one of my projects for a class. Thank you for showing not only myself that Black girls can work in comics and media , but other black girls and women who are artists. 


Follow her work on Instagram @ninjatrip .