Friend/Partner Poaching

Recently on social media, my former feed of pictures of food and statements of "its better being solo than surrounded by people that don't like you" is now filled with random stories about friendship or partner/boyfriend poaching and situations of overly humbling (or outright disrespecting (Black) women (ie. Rihanna x Chris Brown, Beyonce and Jayz, Ciara and that one guy before her current husband Russel) who are successful and the critiques on such circumstances.

This kind of poaching is regarding someone taking your friend and excluding you out of the relationship. Essentially, "stealing" your friend from you. This can also happen when you are dating or in a romantic relationship, and your friend wants to "steal" your partner from you, causing your boyfriend to cheat on you if he has no empathy or respect for you.

Apparently, women who go for married men, or unavailable men feel as if they need to "win" and be better by showing their worth by being able to seduce someone away. They get the feelings of feeling better than you, hotter than you, sexier than you, and this boosts their ego and makes them feel powerful if something is triggering them to feel less than. It is also a breach of trust if this person was considered a friend or claimed to be, and simply is a form of disrespect for boundaries, and a "power move" to become dominant and cause pain to the other party.

As for friendships, I haven't seen a lot on the topic outside of the "stolen" friend having more clout or popularity which makes them seem cool or pretty to be around them, or that the new friend has resources, money, a car, or connections to be used for their own benefit. You are left behind because they didn't want you, but what the people around you can do for them and their social status even if they cannot reciprocate.

How to NOT Dox Yourself

Keeping yourself safe is pretty standard advice.

So is making sure that when you hand your resume to someone who is a complete stranger to you to "fix" that they are someone you trust with that information. A stranger can go and see where you are working, and if you are getting out of an abusive relationship, you don't want that person knowing where you are since they are not capable of respecting your boundaries and treating you with respect.They have the potential and will/might just cause drama with the people around you and get you fired. A stranger who may be a win-at-all-costs sadistic, bruised ego type can have access to your references that may have loved you and your work ethic before, and "furnace your references".

Values, Failures, Mission Statement

Good evening! How are you? Are you doing alright after the pandemic and with all the chaos going on in the world? Are you doing alright with your work load or with the topics you are studying?

You know...this blog was generally centered around various aspects of my days throughout college, events I hosted with others, or what I found cool. However, it didn't allow much in the ways of getting to see your perspectives and such.