The Fine Line Between Normal and Special

Having been heavily in the gyaru scene since 2010 after being on a gaming platform around 2007-2009, I experienced moments of pseudo "celebrity". Though small in comparison to some of the well known names out there, and there were others who were cooler or more kawaii, at the time it was a big deal in this little bubble. It was thrilling at times, but the amount of progress I felt was needed, becoming a sell out, and what content should I publish to entertain hundreds of people is something I had to think about constantly.

Partaking in a hobby and experimenting with hair and make up styles was fun, but I would purposefully not promote my blog that much, in fear of making the others around me upset by the numbers I was acquiring. (Yes, bold, rocker gyaru Lisha was anxious about making people upset!) Hell, I could have been trolled for all I know! But for some people, each like and each follow is one they don't have, and that affects their self worth and sense of self at the end of the day. To some people, they feel entitled to the likes and love out there, and you are taking up too much attention that they are not getting.

Gaining hundreds of followers and thousands of views at the time from the entries I shared, while still acting as if it didn't matter was something that led to quite a few wonky moments and Chigyaru drama. Other's saw me as "popular", and popular/rich people are used for their clout and resources. They take the pictures, say they are friends and give a compliment or two amidst a snide comment, and later dump you or slander you to seem like the better option and move on to someone else a little cooler after they have poached your followers or friends. Sometimes, a person you are dating hates that you are so visible and are striving for goals that they may not have the diligence and discipline to do themselves. Your own partner can sometimes be your biggest hater, and want to see you fail miserably. And sometimes, there are people that agree with that and take actions or inactions that follow that mindset.

Part of me feels it so silly. But when these situations have affected my personal and private facets of my life over a course of 14 years after giving someone a win by letting them and others "have" a promiscious partner and more of the spotlight, its no longer silly. Its serious.