This Year is Flying By!

November 20th. 2024

 

Its already late November, and December will be well on its way to completion! What a crazy year its been! From getting a promotion to getting fired because I wasn't gossip besties with the staff there. But, at least I am not doing more work than what I am getting paid for (I don't mind working hard! But when you're made to be an example when others are just going to watch you overwork yourself is not fun!!!!). 

I thought that with many hindrances with my old jobs and my previous inexperience, working hard and doing my best to be as helpful as possible for my managers would save me and work in my favor. Turns out, that work isn't based on all the hard work that you do, but how much you can kiss ass, not make people feel stupid if you happen to have a lot of experience, and gossip about people. Took me a long time to figure this out, but I guess it will help later in my career? Not what I was expecting! 

How to NOT Dox Yourself

Keeping yourself safe is pretty standard advice.

So is making sure that when you hand your resume to someone who is a complete stranger to you to "fix" that they are someone you trust with that information. A stranger can go and see where you are working, and if you are getting out of an abusive relationship, you don't want that person knowing where you are since they are not capable of respecting your boundaries and treating you with respect.They have the potential and will/might just cause drama with the people around you and get you fired. A stranger who may be a win-at-all-costs sadistic, bruised ego type can have access to your references that may have loved you and your work ethic before, and "furnace your references".

I’ll be a Spanish Speaker

 This year, as I notice myself taking a break from learning Kanji and new Japanese words…I want to make my childhood dream come true (and maybe even try to find old telenovas from telemundo from the early 2000s til 2004) by self studying more basic Spanish phrases before I sign up for an online course. 🫡🥰

I can roll some r’s, and get around basic pronunciations thanks to Telemundo shows and some Spanish music and being around Spanish speakers in high school and beyond. Plus, there’s some similarities with French so it may even help a bit. It has been a regret that I DIDNT take Spanish class when it’s more widely used. Doh!!😣 I would have had more chances to use it often outside of class. That would have built up vocabulary and sounding less textbookish, and helped with natural speed and rhythm. 

After studying Japanese and finding out more dialects and perceptions of those languages as well as being cognizant of  English and slang and historical(racial) contexts in America…. It hinders me studying Spanish a little as there’s sdifferent forms of Spanish being spoken (Mexican, Spain’s Spanish, Ecuadorian or Guatemalan Spanish)I don’t want to just stick to the one that’s seen as “better” or more standard and unintentionally disregard other forms that’s spoken due to colonization etc etc. nor do I want to take a route that may be “easier” in terms of conjugation but it’s not usually spoken because it’s not standard (most likely due to colonization and number of people who speak it or that countries power and influence) but seeming as if I’m just lazy when the majority speaks a different and more “acceptable”(?) form of Spanish. This thinking keeps me back from diving in fully which is something I’m working on aside from just making grammatical mistakes while speaking. 

In the past, I self studied a handful of Cantonese (tones are soooo hard, and there’s like, 6?! 😵‍💫), then had French class for 2 years, then Japanese class for 1.5 in college (I could NOT do self studying with this on grade school. Well… I guess beyond words for Ms/Mr, basic numbers and yes/no. And I’m not counting memorizing songs at all despite it helping with immersion). 

I also see there’s an app for reading the language and you can poke at the words to get their meaning right in the sentence. I’d love that and will be getting that one of these days because I see it’s super handy.

Diamond Gyaru Mistakes (storytime #3

 This is a post in two parts; Here is the link to the youtube video~ 

So, during the last few years after not getting my fellowship at the University of Chicago possibly due to someone breaching my boundaries and contacting another manager where I am working to get me fired again, I had time to think about various facets of my life. Of course, my involvement in the gyaru community, me being gal and things of that nature come flooding back to me, the good and the bad. 

When I joined Diamond gyaru event circle, America's #1 gyaru circle back in 2010 or so, not only was I elated that I got accepted into a galcir, but I was also so nervous! The best of the best! Gals whose subgenre styling; makeup, hairmake, outfits and demeanor, were on point. 

With my acceptance into Diamond gyaru circle, I felt validated as a participant no longer new in the scene. My efforts spent into my look and commitment to engaging positively with others were noticed. 

Two Midwest Diamond gyaru, another one, L.A., who was accepted into Diamond after being in Chicago's 1st gyaru circle Kamikaze girls, helped get me acclimated into the new level that I entered. Within any organization, school, social club, and so on, there are ground rules to abide by. A few of the most obvious ones were to be a lifestyle gyaru; hair and make done and styled daily. Another rule was to not be involved in drama. 

That meant no GyaruSecrets posting. No replying to secrets made about you or your circle members. Being catty. bitchy, or starting trouble for others or with others was certainly OFF the table. Little did I know, that my being involved with a gyaru who may have been behind my rejection response with Kamikaze Gals would be my blindspot. 

For those of you who have been with me on my gyaru/gamer journey would have known about the times of me being stood up and blown off by a gyaru who I found out was someone that was deliberately sexting the guy I was in relationship at the time. Not only that, but calling me and some other Black*Cherry members a bitch on her blog years ago and other actions. 

Looking back on it, I did NOT want to be the girl who fights with other girls over a guy with self esteem issues. I wanted to work things out and make gyaru life amazing in Chicago. But, there were things I had to accept even though it weren't things I wanted. 

Gal Circle Rejection (storytime #1)

Rejection 

So, have I ever told you that I was rejected from a gyaru circle before?

Those who may see my posts popping up on Twitter may have seen a little bitty post about that regarding my gyaru lifestyle? era? career?

Nick Cave @ Mca

 

A man willing to risk it all for his art. That is the man I went to go see give a talk about his recent installation at the MCA. Nick Cave's talk has been my 3rd artist talk of the year, and this one called out to me the most. I came across a book with photographs of his body of work and I was intrigued. I liked the playfulness of some of his designs and his take on issues as well. His colourful forms and patterns was refreshing to come across after having instilled the mindset of realism and achieving high levels of detail was most important than the joy one can receive when making artist pieces.

Some of the take aways from this interview was that he believes in working with materials AND people that you trust is so important. Nick also likes to have moments in solitude at his studio even with a team of competent assistants. As time has passed, his art work is still created with found materials from outside. 

One aspect of his workflow that I admire deeply is his ability to jump into a project quickly without much preparation time or materials or the need to transport materials from his studio to an artist residency elsewhere. I am not sure the pace of his workflow, but to be able to not overthink the details so much surprises me. 

Have you seen Nick Cave's body of work before? Share your comments! I'd love to hear from you!

Morning Walk

I went out today for a brief walk and to enjoy a breakfast of some sort of baked goods and some sunshine.　I bought a croissant, and walked to my favorite spot. I met a man named Jesus who spoke Japanese, English and Spanish! He also asked me if I knew how to speak Italian and French. (I did ask him initially if he spoke Spanish based on his English speaking accent… hopefully that wasn’t rude… I’ll pose that question a little better moving forward. He was surprised I knew a little Japanese and I heard him reply in Japanese, which surprised me! 

今朝、外で出た。散歩して朝食が喜びたかった。クロワッサン買って好きな場所で歩いた。そして日本語、英語とスペイン語できる男の名前はﾍｽﾞｽに会った。あたしに正しい語で「フランスご、イタリア語で話してできる？」と聞いた。まずは、英語で「スペイン語が話してできますか」。多分丁寧じゃ無い。。。ヤバいぃぃ。。。でも、私たちはびっくりした！

The fresh breads of the day/今日の新しいパン

Mr. Turtle！/カメ「亀」さん

He was able to take Japanese classes in his high school in L.A.  So jelly!! But, L.A. has a bigger Japanese population so it’s understandable compared to a predominantly Black/African American high school on the south side of Chicago. Even though the popularity of anime had won the hearts of Black kids of my generation, maybe Japanese people or near fluent non native speakers wouldn’t want to teach in a dodgy, dangerous area… 

Jesusさんは学校で日本語を勉強した。羨ましいぃぃぃけどわかった。L .A.は多い黒人人口いってシカゴの南でより多い日本人がいる。でも、少し黒人子供達はアニメが好き。黒人の心にかんど色々アニメをしたと思う。多分、日本人や日本語できる先生はシカゴの南で行かなかった。。。危ないな町から。。。

I will continue to learn more Spanish words and study more Japanese as well. 

もっとスペイン語の言葉と日本語の文法が勉強して続ける。

Ciao/またね💎

Ashnikko Concert

 Super late post but I enjoyed an Ashnikko concert after her Lollapolooza show.

She’s outspoken, has amazing blue hair and even did a collaboration with Hatsune Miku. What a legend! 

Some of the songs I find quite catchy are Deal With It, Daisy 2.0 and Tantrum. 

Thank you Ashnikko for the amazing energy you brought to Chicago.

Until next time.

En Memoriam Of LicaMica (Trigger warning)

This month, this season has been interesting for me, two years after my sister's death. While some things have been quite fun, I've been thinking about my sister and the relationship that we just didn't fully have for whatever reason and factors that played into that. To have been going through a lot of what had happened alone whilst blogging, YouTubing, making gyaru events, and completing college has been quite a feat. 

I never wanted my sister to die. 

Though we weren't tied at the hip and had our own lives, it pains me that we could not and did not become close. I didn't want her to be continuing on with using hardcore drugs throughout her pregnancy post high school. I didn't like seeing her change and not complete the goals she had for herself. I hated how she made it seem like everything was ok even though it wasn't. Thinking on it these days, maybe she didn't want to make it seem as if things weren't going well for her so I wouldn't judge her. (?)

Having seen her and someone else help her evade DCFS check ins a few times, seeing her punch her pregnant belly, getting glimpses of alarming things and to have it end up in her overdosing and wondering if I had to identify her body and what she looked like after 2 years of not seeing her... it was heavy to take in. It still is. 

Its heavy to take in things like this while pretending everything is ok and as if there aren't things disappointing you and worrying you. While trying to keep up a facade of things going right outside of gal and gamer life/drama/conflict. Its heavy and painful to have someone putting themselves and their children in danger willingly. 

Outside of the painful parts that I've come to terms with, I do my best to appreciate the moments when we had some fun times; when we would watch anime together, the project we worked on, and being happy for her when she had things that weren't harmful to her. 

Perhaps there were unresolved pain or maybe something that made her want to walk in the shoes of someone that did heroin and such. That maybe she wanted to feel invincible despite some health issues and the path she took was one that she thought she could come out of.

There were professionals who knew that the kids were unsafe and had a plan to help her be the mom she wanted/could have been, there should have been more people making it acceptable to use that assistance and not undermine the usefulness. Or if her family or the people she felt were her "saviors" would have guided her away from a life of being another statistic since I've always been told that everyone else has their life together and are oh so Christian and wise.

To keep things positive... she's not in pain anymore and the kids are safe from things they are too innocent to be a part of.  That I had some close friends to bond a little more after with. That she's with mom and other family members...

In due time, this won't hurt so much.  

またね★

Macy's 2017 Bridal Expo

Hello hello! Been booked with projects for a bit but wanted to pop a new post up!

The Macy's Bridal Expo was just a week ago, and it still feels extremely surreal! I got to choose two gowns to model for the event, 1 ball gown with gorgeous, delicate beading being worn for the runway.

Mini Makeup Haul

I haven't done a lot of hauls after post college it seems, but here is another one.
I went shopping one day, and decided to grab a few things to try out.
I usually use brow pencils for my brows but decided to dip my toe into the magical world of eyebrow makeup! I missed the brow mascara craze back in 2011 or so when some gyaru would use it on their brows.

I tried out e.l.f.'s brow kit from Target. Though at times I can't get a very clean cut look with my brows like the pics on Instagram, the kit does a decent job. On no foundation and minimal makeup days, my brows look pretty natural and I'm happy.

Now on to the eyebrow shaping kit... I am not pleased. The scissors are ok at best and a little clumsy, the brush is too stiff and I just have no use for the comb. The attachment to the scissors weren't beneficial at all so they were tossed. The tweezers didn't provide enough grip and I ended up using them for lash application. Thank goodness I have a pair of tweezers that work or I'd be s.o.l.

Until next time! 



Check out my webshop! 20%off on all items! Half the amount on hats will be donated to the Woman's Treatment Center!

Mini Haul, Another One

I've been experimenting with new nail colours than I usually use. A lot more natural tones and a lot more basic than the glittered and blinged out nails you all are used to me wearing. But for work or trying to land a job interview, they definately work.

Getting Older In A Alternative Fashion Community

As long as I have been blogging, my style has changed over the years. From a bit over the top and youthful edginess to more toned down and a little more sleek, the way I dress myself has definately gotten better. I also have gotten a better sense of what looks good on my figure and what I like and don't like.

(old pic)

As I am getting old and grey, and due to work as well, my style choices has been getting a little more boring! Trying to find decent basics for work functions have preoccupied most of my shopping.
(new pics)

However, I do my best to get a few items for leisure time and events that I can really express myself with.

It also is great that some of my coworkers appreciate dressing against the grain and showcasing your individuality. They help keep me true to myself, and seeking ways to not just stick to a basic pair of jeans and a plain ol' top.

I still incorporate some of my own recent customizations and selfmade items into my wardrobe to fully make my look my own!






Check out my webshop! 20%off on all items! Half the amount on hats will be donated to the Woman's Treatment Center!

Mini haul

Shampoo and vitamins! How exciting! What I have been buying hasn't been that exciting these days it seems. Pencils, pens and basic notebooks aren't very eyecatching! maybe I should look into cute notebooks....

I kind of fell in love with the Organix shampoo. Though I'm going more natural with my hair care, I haven't fully researched all my options and would like to use up this stuff first! I went with the biotin and collagen and also keratin oil ones to aid in hair growth. Decided to mix it up from the keratin shampoo and conditioner I got during the Summer of 2015.

I also bought vitamins too for the fall and winter time to combat SADS due to lack of sun and my general hermitness during this season. Neesie, whom I met at Acen a few years ago gave me that tip! Thank you so much!

Until next time!

Check out my webshop! 20%off on all items! Half the amount on hats will be donated to the Woman's Treatment Center!

Goodbye 2016, Hello 2017!

Good evening, loves! I do try to keep my posts early, but, welp, sometimes a late night post will do.
So, 2016 is finally over! To some, its good riddance! To others... its more on the lines of, where DID the time go?! *sweats*
For me, I'd like to hug 2016 or give 'em a playful 'punch' on the shoulder like one would do an old chum. I had a lot of adventures last year, from horseback riding, swimming, and meeting new gals. I felt really good to close the chapter for the previous year.

The Fam! Birthday girl was on fleek!

So happy to finish off the year in a place and mindset filled with more peace, love and things that spark my creativity even more, and enthralled to bring in the New Year with friends and good people. (ok... still haven't mastered the super power of duplicating myself just yet to be everywhere and with everyone to be at all the parties........)

Her outfit was too cute!!

For celebrations, I went to two parties where one I got to bartend at and the other I got to chill. Good vibes all around!
My phone died so I couldn't grab all the photos I wanted for the continuation of new year celebrations!

His "Keep Having a Good Day" series always encourages me to see the good in everyday

Hugs!

Styl-lish friends

I got to bartend at the event and I did not imagine how much champagne would be poured.... 

so much champagne was poured...

By the time I made it to Reina's..... My phone was dead. -_-; BUT! I partied til about 5am, ate some delicious chicken that seriously need a blog post of its own. I wanted to keep going... but maybe if I had scheduled some time off.....

Party pic stolen from Pandy

Anyway, it felt thoroughly great to ring in the new year. Cheers to new adventures!



Check out my webshop! 20%off on all items! Half the amount on hats will be donated to the Woman's Treatment Center!

Get Your Hustle On!

Photo cred Chicago Now

On my birthday, I got hired at a new part-time job downtown (an old birthday wish)! Though I won't be able to dilly dally as much during the weekends, I can at least get out the house more... even though its to be inside mostly. Its definitely a change of pace for me and I enjoy it so far.

I've met some talented and knowledgeable people and I am surrounded by gorgeousness. Also, I get to see all the Holiday decorations and festive lights after work!
Oh... have you seen the spectacular tree I posted on my ig from the Walnut Room the other day? Check it out! 

The downside.... Being in the Loop makes me want to shop! I'm already eyeing the makeup counters, and clothes shops! Oh no!!

If you can grab a table from the Walnut Room at Macy's, tell me what you enjoyed there. I heard it gets full with reservations. 

Until next time loves!



Check out my webshop! 20%off on all items! Half the amount on hats will be donated to the Woman's Treatment Center!

My Fall Items

Though November is gone, December is here, and Christmas decorations have been up since mid November, I wanted to share some of my favorite Fall items with you!

OUTER 

Other than my vegan leather jacket, this sturdy, military style jacket gave me the edge I love with my (rokku gyaru) style. Usually paired with jeans and short ankle booties, this went perfectly with my aesthetic.

ACCESSORY 

Big shades that cover half my face has been a staple in my wardrobe. This pair is from Akira and are different than the other pairs I've worn. The gold nose piece adds a focal point to the shades and give them some glam.

BAG 

My crocheted houndstooth bag was one of my go-tos for this past fall. I chose a bold monotone pattern that definately stands out even with the most basic of outfits!

What were some of your fall favorites? I'd love to see and showcase what they are!

My First Tattoo

An associated  had prepped me for the ink work that I wanted done and what to expect. She even assisted me with locations of shops I could go to and the artists she liked and also went to. 

I got an Uber and shared it with the associate named Sandra. 

Sandra  and I being excited 

I made my way to the northside of town, inching through traffic like a snail. She made sure I wasn't hungry at all, and coached me one final time before we stepped foot inside.

In no time at all after entering the shop, I was sending over my idea to my first tattoo artist. And moments after that? I was trying to hold my excitement to fill in paperwork.

Working on my arm

Soon enough, the letters became etched into my skin. It didn't hurt as much as I thought, and the finger tattoos ached in a few spots. The artist, J, made the experience enjoyable, cracking jokes and even pulling a face for a picture.

Serious pictures only, of course!

Thank you so much Pandy/Sandra and J for my first tattoo session!

♡

________________
Notes to keep in mind

・Find a reputable shop and avoid dinky little places. Infections and art that doesn’t match what you want isn't worth it, and you get what you pay for.
・ This day and perhaps the day before as well is NOT the time to fast or forego meals. Getting a tattoo on an empty stomach can make the pain feel worse.
・ Make sure all spelling and line work is correct. No regerts on the work you want done!
・ Keep your tattoo clean and moisturized.

Share your favorite tattoo that you have or would like to get! I'd like to see! 

Gal Weekend pt2

This warm weekend was another meet up I decided to attend for a moment.
After work, I got dolled up, and headed on out for a night on the town.

I went for a more banba-esque look with a dress that had a trippy, kaleidoscope print on it and light beige heels. 

Date Being Rude?

Subpar Date, Summer Edition


Went on second  date with someone some weeks ago, and I had dinner at a restaurant. The establishment was GORGEOUS and I loved the decorative books and frames that gave an air of sophistication.
I decided to go with liver and onions (not my go to meal )　with a glass of Stella Artois to wash it down. It had been years since I've tasted liver and onions, wanting to see how it will turn out here.
It was actually really delicious, smooth without liver's grainy texture and topped with savory BACON!

My date though it was a good idea to constantly bitch about my choice of meal, calling it a dinner from hell and "so disgusting", while reaching over my ENTER plate to take a few brussel sprouts. He also thought it was sexy to pick food from his teeth with his fingers! Disgustingggg!!! Like, DID YOUR MOM EVEN RAISE YOU?! DO YOU REALLY THINK YOUR BEHAVIOUR IS OK??! Terrible, but also amusing. 

His table manners seemed that of a teen, and was definitely not sexy nor did it make me want to eat in public with him. I think if you are kicking it with your friends in a little dive bar or small low key restaurant... like Mcdonalds, maybe somethings can let slide.... I guess.

Besides terrible table manners, he also would mention lowkey racist type statements like, "you don't act like a (stereotypical) black person!" or talking down on Asian people. He seemed to be stuck in white frat boy land than really trying to seem like a halfway decent person. ughhhhh He also though he was being 'romantic'. lmfaoooo

If anything, I'd visit the restaurant again, and grab another plate of 💖💖’s liver and onions. The only highlight of that night.