Black Kawaii Gurl

I talk and listen to a black creative often; a dark skinned woman with edge and cuteness who cannot rely on passing as mixed/white in a world so judgmental. Though her days may be long and hectic with her packed schedule, and how to navigate the world of being an independent creative, she still puts forth the drive for her goals. 

Numbers don’t lie, and I often tell her she’s setting & meeting goals despite the set backs and the complex layers of them that she expresses. We can be our own worst critics, that’s for sure! But doing everything yourself because people fail you certainly sucks. (But for those that actually keep their word, you are amazing!)

And yes, it IS tiring “playing the race card” 🙄 even in kawaii, alternative, artsy, and nerd spaces. But others wanting us to play small or ELSE, being goaded for reactions, needing to turn a blind eye because we don’t want to be the “angry black bitch” or face bad pr with grudge holders with a vendetta just because it’s fun for them, while still not taking us seriously yet in turn demanding free labor and support just because…is not tiring?

Being used as an object in platonic spaces to gain cool points from via selfies or by overly familiar association, but not cool enough to give credit to. 

Typical

        Played out

                     Cliché

But that’s life for us. Maybe some can overcompensate and may evade this in some ways by some form of whitewashing or even “Asianfishing”  to some extent to be a more favorable black person and be more “appealing” ie the Oreo or Chocolate covered banana (is that a real term?).  Aka the  “omg, you’re a white/Asian girl in a black girls body!” cringe of a  “compliment” of some sort. (as if black people didn’t learn other languages? Did anything beyond shaking ass or rapping or slam dunking?) This perpetuates the notion that Blackness, African descendants in America, are inherently inferior, worthless, and up to no good. 

🥱

Maybe some have lots of trauma with Blackness; pain and humiliation and sabotage as sport from others who happen to be different, from those that are similar, or from the same kin. Maybe the cringy compliments of “wow, ur black but not that kind of black”, “you’re pretty for a black girl”, “omg you’re so ArtICuLatE (for a black person!)”(my “fave” compliment talking with other artists/professionals at a prestigious art institution) is some glimmer of pseudo hope and admiration in a world that tells you you’re not good enough so often.

There are some that don’t care to change themselves because it doesn’t matter. There are some that do. There are some where that is all they know so what is there to change? 

But, it’s an interesting experience. 

I hope it doesn’t get you down too much. 

💖👿🫶🏾