Acen 2016 *picture upload problem

Acen 2016 weekend was upon us, and seemed to quickly pass, bringing us fun panels, shared times together, and goodies from the Dealers Hall. Having been going to Acen for quite a while now, it seemed a slightly calmer than the previous ones I’ve attended, which made the experience greater. I attended several panels, two hosted by Harajuku Fashion walk creator Eteria, and two with Voice Actress of Kaori Miyazono (from Your Lie in April)Erica Lindbeck and Voice Actor and Voice Director Patrick Seitz.
Eteria’s panels were filled with information about Jfashion, where to go to buy key pieces for your wardrobe for your style of choice, and even goodies for the raffle winners! She touched on topics about what helps bring any style together, which lashes work best for gyaru make up, and what the most important differences for each style were. Including pictures of Western gyaru in her Agepoyo! A Beginner’s Guide to Gyaru, she united worldwide gyaru fashion instead of separating lovers of the style.

Attending Erica’s and Patrick’s panels were thoroughly enjoyable, and what I took away from their panels were tips that sometimes I feel some people would rather not talk on, or even hilarious moments in their career. Patrick prefers voice acting for anime than games due to the fact that in anime, you can hook into your character more with a lot more context and emotional bonding. I had asked him about the challenges in his career that he has encountered and/or overcame. Since he does both voice acting and directing, he doesn’t have time for both. Not only that, but work-life balance isn’t much of a thing for him when he is taking on directing projects.

Erica was originally from Greenville, Carolina, living and working in traffic filled Los Angeles. She too is also one to be connected emotionally to her characters for voice acting. Drawing on past experiences and the real emotions attached helps her do her best work. Faking her emotions for her characters isn’t something that she does and wants to be authentic as possible. One of her tips was “Acting is about human experience” and encourages interested people to live life, and gather those experiences. If there was a reboot for any anime in the future, she would love to take on the roles of Julia or Faye Valentine from Cowboy Bepop.

Erica Lindbeck

Now, some more pictures!

Share your Acen2016 experience with us!

Current projects

2015 (year that engagement party happened) 

I've started on my biggest crocheting project yet! I love prints and wanted to add to my collection, something that would cover me in warmth and my fave print gloriousness.

So, I decided to make my first blanket! I am currently using a blanket yarn that feels so soft and warm against my skin. Its working up quickly and flying off my hook but Michael's doesn't carry the black or white colours anymore for some reason! I can't finish a blanket with just two skeins of yarn! I should have stocked up for my project in the first place...

Video Analysis - M3LL155x

I was very excited to watch Twigs latest video, M3LL155x . The videography is awe inspiring and takes full advantage of what can be done in music videos.

Rebirth

This may be a bit tmi and its a very personal tidbit of my life that I hid even from my family til now.

2011/2012
I was back on fetlife again, feeling terrible still about the gender I was forced into accepting. I posted a photo, showing myself in all its 'glory'. People fapped over the pix while I felt differently. I had wanted gender reassignment surgery for a long time and a lot of people I knew thought it was all a phase.

I recieved a message from one male individual saying or joked that he was an ax murderer and if I was the only one who could photograph myself naked.

I wasn't in my normal mind, and eventually met up with said photographer with a friend, Tomo from Black*Cherry. The photoshoot was done with a female photographer present on the first 2 shoots.

The third one, just me and the photographer, he had pushed his boundaries with me; pressing himself too close to my thighs while doing simple ropework on me, or having his pantsed penis near my face as I was lying bound on the bed. (A big nono for proffessional work).

He had eventually asked/wanted things to be unproffessional: he wanted sex (even mentioned getting tax money back at a restaurant up north near the Rosemont area for sex/escort services which I just stared at him blankly) and wanted to dispose the model and photographer relationship we had).

The first time we were intimate, his roommate (or sexual sub female) wasn't there. He played 'Corrupt' by Depeche Mode and wanted me stripped down + in a blind fold. When forced himself inside, it felt like like my insides were going to rip. It hurt badly. I wasn't used to his size! 

I wasn't the type of outgoing person in general and he'd blow me off, telling me what he thought I
I wanted to hear ( compliments on my looks don't do anything for me because it can be way too phony for me. ) He'd promise to take me out or tell me I wasn't too direct with what I wanted. It'd be about a month til he'd actually set aside time for me or make me feel a bit bad for not fawning over him as if he was the most handsome man ( not in my nature + I don't compliment like that or be phony).

After one date and him driving me back to my neighborhood ( this was supposed to mean he liked me or something) he told me he'd think of what to label our relationship and that he could buy coke in my neighborhood too. I was confused. 
I was also blank faced + taken aback from him asking to choke me out til I passed out.

He was also rough and liked to do breath play and slap me hard in the face. My depressive and suicidal side loved it. My normal self? Withdrawn way deep inside my mind...

After snooping on his Fetlife, I found out he had two sexual subs, not only increasing my risk for disease, but also witholding that info from me for whatever 'relationship' we had
My heart sank and I didn't eat for a week. The chemicals in my body from the shock of being lied to had me experiencing audio hallucinations + feeling like I was shrinking and the room I was in expanding. I was hurt!

He blamed me for falling in love with him and made excuses for him not telling me etc. It was my fault for 'falling' for him after the cuddling + bogus sweet nothings.

I was bad at communicating my discomfort or my disapproval, something I feel an Aspie and a male friend noticed about me.

I stopped talking to him after some months after meeting his daughter + the other sub he drank breastmilk from and was known to not tell her who he was seeing or fuckin in his 'poly relationship'.

2012/2013
I had some meetings of a therapist under my belt, met with people, but going through tough times with school, working and family.

We met up again, he even met my nerdy roommates too at the house I rented a room at.

He played me again. Telling me we'd meet up, saying I was too difficult to talk to. Taking me to cheap spots, beating me outside of a scene, not using a condom for 100% of sex play, saying I looked like a hooker and calling me cheap.

I was hurt and saw how cheap he was being after knowing how much pro dommes or subs made. I never got new or paid  photography work from knowing him or being put on his sites + instagram, and couldnt profit off the pix we did at all. 

I felt stupid again but realized how much he was cheating me and possibly why he is avoiding me again since last August or September.

I'm upset at myself for putting my brain + reproductive health in danger and getting no compensation from him.

I'm still taming my depression and managing possible schizophrenia with the help of loved ones and friends. Its been one hell of a journey for me and has affected so many areas of my life.

Nature Sanctuary

6/12/2015

Long time no see readers!

Spent some time with Jade/Purin, Jojo and James; Purin’s kid and partner

Been busy and away from the wifi for some time. I just have been updating things mostly from my phone so I can only do so much on a mobile device!

  

I visit the beach and Nature Sanctuary quite often on the South Side of Chicago. I was able to mimic and summon black birds and seagulls over there, and make them hover in the air too!

Saw the sunrise in my own city! yippu!

 I was also able to see 2 male ducks and a female duck, and a some moments later, I was able to see a mother duck with her ducklings. They were so cute and the ducklings were small enough to walk on the lily pads there!

Up

Drew an eye in the dirt with a shovel. Its very... crude compared to my pen and ink drawings.

I also brought over sticks, branches, and dry leaves for one of the fire pits there so I could create a campfire and also let the smoke from the fire keep some of the mosquitos away from me. The fire does make the birds seem a lil anxious, but since it is contained, they don’t need to worry too much!

Handmade Clock/compass
The top part faces towards downtown. The right side faces the lake.

I was able to create graphite from the burnt branches too! I used that to mark on the circular stone structures where I saw the sun rise or the moment where the sun was in the sky!

I did chill with a few nice people who walked past my campfire spot, and tried to be friendly to some who actually threw rocks at me when I saw them at the beach WHILE other adults were nearby. I guess not everyone who is your colour or race/ethnicity or even younger than you will be friendly to you or respect you. :/

Caught some of it! Yippu!

 The Nature Sanctuary is a bit far from the north side, so not a lot of people head here. I don’t want the neighborhood to deter them away from a beautiful place in South Shore!!

Until next time you all! 

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Redbubble items up! click here
I buy my super cute circle lens from PinkyParadise

Weddin' Season

Though I am still single for about 1 year and 7months now, the anxiety that comes with just thinking about marriage still pops up in my head:

Will I get married? Will I find someone who will actually be there for me? Will we be a good team together? Will they accept me for who I am? Will I accept them? Will they honestly like me for me?

Its not like I have been in a relationship for years or even ACTUALLY engaged to even have it be a big deal for me to freak out about it... but still!

Working at Joann Fabrics and Crafts and having to stock and price tulle, table decorations, sashes, and signage for people into diy wedding crafts and bachelorette parties.

Seeing an advertisement when I was working for Joanns about Joann Fabrics and Crafts about diying gifts and crafts for weddings.

I go to a karaoke bar about two months ago, and there are bridesmaids singing "Gangster's Paradise".

I windowshop in various places for deals and just passing time to turn around and see slightly tacky white blinged out things like "wifey" and "bride".

This past weekend while waiting in line to get into SoundBar, a group of bros (one was pretty cute though, ahahaha) was talking about one of the guys in the group being engaged and his last night of being a non married man. a group of ladies wearing fake leis following a bride to be with a not so matching white veil on her head... and two white guys calling themselves honkies and talking about "honky grits"... ok... that last bit was just a random part of a convo from waiting in line with them.

For me to be nearing my 30s (yikes!), time passing me by, and almost barely touching my goals if at all, I still get flustered by the fleeting thoughts and reminders in normal life that people do still get married to each other, and... that I may get hitched to someone in this lifetime. 

Maybe it won't be all that bad when it does happen, and I'll just have freak out moments with planning stuff out... I guess.

Enjoy this hilarious "horror" video about wedding season from Buzzfeed~!!

Alice: Madness Returns

A few months ago, I started, played through and finished Alice Madness Returns, totally skipping the first part of the story that came out on pc years ago. American McGee’s Alice was on my list of horror fantasy games to play for many years before I got into playing titles like Fatal Frame, Silent Hill or Resident Evil, but console gaming proved easier for me.

Alice Madness Returns follows the story of a dark haired Alice in a world that makes Tim Burton’s universes very Disney like. She is on a journey to saving herself in a dreary and depressing normal life and saving her own world, Wonderland from destructive outer forces and demonic looking foes with the help of a very sinister looking wide grinned Cat and unusual items for weapons. This mangy cat gives you very interesting advice, not only for in game usage, but interesting quotes to think on in general. Curiouser and curiouser!

Her story gets darker throughout gameplay, shifting from general strangeness to the downright absurd and disturbing as you uncover parts of characters’ backgrounds and Alice’s story about the fire. Playing this game gave me a lot of “WTF” moments as my original memory of Alice in Wonderland as a fun and delightfully weird children’s tale was turned inside out with no effs given. There was still some of the charm within the game, but with the downright evilness of some of the characters and the helplessness of some of the others and very sickening depictions of olden day mental asylums, this game breathed a different kind of life into a tale a lot of us have known.

I loved the Chesire cat’s and Alice’s updated character design from the first game, and also the graphics for the gameplay. I also admired the weapon designs to help it fit in this dark/dystopian/disturbing Wonderland. The game boards or places that she visited were done in a very creative manner to fit within this dark wonderland and I loved exploring them and seeing what each level had to offer in terms of surprises.

I had to get used to the gameplay and not losing important battles, but I caught on quickly, and didn’t experience too many problems like with the game that came before with movement and quickness of responsiveness. (gameplay issues) The gameplay had progressed with this second installment and did not distract from the story line, nor did it make me overly frustrated which is a plus.

Being into fashion and special abilities when it comes to games and replay value of a game, this game came through with different styled outfits for Alice to wear. The tentacle like dress and the Chesire styled ones were my favorites! I would totally replay this game and unlock more of the story line and hidden content.

Have you had a chance to play Alice Madness Returns? What did you think about it? Don’t be shy! Share your experience with us!

Mortal Kombat: Time Travel

As a person who has played Mortal Kombat as a youngster, it made me quite pleased to know that the new Mortal Kombat was made in Chicago. To some people, this may not be an important bit of information.  To those who know where the game and game kompany originated from, this is a big deal!

Sonya

The first outfit I wanted to highlight is Sonya Blade’s halter top and leggings kombo. Her outfit is fitted to show off her muscles and strength, but very late 80’s early 90’s inspired. Her slightly loose high ponytail, and bangs is a very 90’s athletic look for her, but not very fashionable or kute.

Kitana

Moving on to Kitana’s outfit… I would break down all of the princess’ fighting kostumes, but that would be far too redundant since they wore the same exact thing in the early Mortal Kombat games! Limited game memory for kharacters and all of that for the arcade and Super Nintendo. Old gen konsole problems.

The princess’  wore what looks like halter top styled swimsuits with knee high flat soled boots. No heels were worn in these earlier games, so foot gear was very practical for female fighters in the Mortal Kombat universe. Their fighting gear was sexy in a sense, but very subdued kompared to the feminine outfits of the more kurrent games that have been released.

Sindel

Illustration by Jhonatas Batalha

Queen Sindel, one of the most recognized kharacters in the series is not exempt from this fashion post! Her outfit is more revealing than the other kharacters, and doesn’t have the halter top to secure the outfit at her shoulders/neck like the other ladies. She also wears longer boots that kover up most of her kalf than stopping at the knee.  Out of the female kharacters, her outfit is more “sexy” and too cheesy while not going overboard like in some fighting games.

With these visuals from the old MK games, how do you feel about the fashion direction of these klassic kickass female kharacters? Share your thoughts in the komment section below! We would love to hear from you!

Acen 2015

Wowzers! Another Acen  has passed by!

Machii, Neesie, Tomo, Jade and I at my Gyaru Panel

I had my panel about gyaru fashion on Friday! I let people check out what was in my bag, answered questions about hair, make up and accessories, and had some guest speakers as well! It was a chill atmosphere, and I was glad people were able to come through.

Though I wish I danced the night away at Soap Bubble, I danced, shimmied, and bebopped along throughout the Dealer Hall's floor. 

Anime Central: 2015

My Little Pony

This Acen was filled with lots of familiarity; meeting and catching up with old friends  from school or the gyaru and cosplay community and of course some from SugarGamers, taking pictures, checking out tons of spectacular goodies in the Dealers Hall, and staying up super late. However, some things were different this year, including your Galtaku* , Lisha, having her own panel about gyaru fashion and totally missing the rave.

Vincent and Sorceress Edea

Alice (knight outfit) from Madness Returns “How’d you get so tall, Alice?”

At my panel, I took a lighthearted approach with describing the fashion and answering questions, even playing some Eurobeat music that had a parapara dance tied to it. I showed some of my essential items in my handmade denim purse, letting the audience see what make-up items I used for my look, the cards I used for getting discounts at stores, and what brand of lashes I favored.

Reflections

Its funny... 
thinkin on it, 
how as a young adult, 
i made my way out to Oak Park to meet with people from the internet, that...
only one girl came to CT to meet with me.


and 

it took a long time for people to come out to see me... 

 i live further south than they did at the time. frown emoticon 

or being stood up when id invite people to art shows and stuff. 


like, people came in groups to see me in the hood (well, not too far south, of course. dont want chilrens gettin scared! lol) 

like, you cant come by yourself? lolololol.

i guess, that should have told me right then and there that i should have stopped talking to a certain person after being stood up so much!



the girl that came to CT with me
the one who didnt leave me hanging
alone on the train platform with my blue hair
made me really happy to be outside.