Dearly Beloved

I have been listening to A LOT of GreenDay Songs lately. Greenday, P!ATD, Fall Out Boy etc. Brings back memories!! Summer break is almost over and... well, I am not in school anymore. ;-; But I have been thinking of taking some sort of class... But what?
Here are some lyrics for you to enjoy!

Dearly Beloved

Are you listening?
I can't remember a word
That you were saying

Are we demented
Or am I disturbed?
The space that's in between
Insane and insecure

Oh, therapy
Can you please fill a void?
Am I *redacted* or am I
Just overjoyed?

Nobody's perfect and
I stand accused
For lack of the better word and that's
My best excuse
(Green day, Dearly beloved, American Idiot)
~~~~~~~~~~~
translated:::
dear (fill in the blanks), are we communicating effectively to each other?
Are we letting illogical things get in the way of acting normally?
 Or, is it just me?
Maybe its just the middle ground getting in the way, walking on a thin line, a tightrope in between two extremes as not to seem either way at all.
Hey, therapist, what the hell is wrong with me? Just tell me something so I can understand what Im feeling. I can't seem to act normally, am I dumb, or stupidly happy?

Not a perfect person. Yea, I said it. Sometimes I can't get the perfect word out at the right time, so that's all I got.

Infinity Loop + err0r

I saw one of my past French Teachers on Thursday! It's been about 7 or so years of being in his class. My French has gotten so rusty over the years.C'est Mal!! I even forgot how to reintroduce myself in the heat of the moment. It was sad. He told me to keep working hard and all that. .

I have been getting good advice from friends and mentors lately. Its like a pep talk or one of those huddles before you do your thing or play football!

SO!!~ I did the thing. I made another mini video for Youtube. 

I would have loved to actually wear a nurse uniform for this.... but oh well. Maybe next time, right?
I wanted to tell a story between robots/androids. One is aware that the other is malfunctioning due to bad reprogramming or malware, but the one that is, isn't.

And, even though all this stuff about doll people or whatever thats in right now... nah. I prefer catgirls and robots! Which totally takes me back to my old online gaming and Apocryfa ones too. 

Updaterrrr

WOWZERS.
So much to process lately, and this might be long so.... grab a snack!

This past week has been a lil crazy. Maybe its just me...  Just trying to get out of this rut I've been stuck in for a bit. Being in a rut when you are trying to be productive and get things done and not stall (ehhh...)... gahh.... its no good at all...

pic courtesy of Sandra
Levitation powers!

Saturday I made a new piece of art for a new cafe. I hope they do well! Sandra met me up there, and I also saw some of my buddies too! I also went to Soundbar in the loop to dance. I wore super tall high heels, and I think I did pretty ok in them. heh heh heh. But makes me sad because I want to do some major shoe shopping! ;-;

The weekend was mostly just chilling. No working or trying to do something productive which was nice. Ok... maybe I still did some thinking.  ヽ(*・ω・)ﾉhehehe



On Tuesday, I got to watch this movie called Lucy  with a classmate from some years ago! I think I was a freshman or sophomore at that time when we met. I had wanted to see the movie from some months ago when the trailers were out. I really liked the concept of using more parts of your brain than you normally do. (sadly, its a myth...) And someone being able to be of the universe more than just acting within it. Anyways...

From variety.com

The movie was pretty badass. Choi Min Sik, the guy who played Oh Daesu in Oldboy was in it too! Even though tumblr people were upset about some possible racial things of the movie, I think they were going a bit overboard in a way. OMG WHITE GIRL KILLING ASIANS. But did you realize the location of the movie at all? I do get it a bit though, Asians are stereotypically the bad guys in these films in the USA. Oh well. I guess it will take America more time to let go of the B.S. in films etc.

Gurl Put in Work

So, it has been about 6 and a half months since I started my new part time. Though my schedule has changed a bit dramatically, I am pretty happy that I stuck it through this long! Yippu! Some of ya'll are probably thinking, like... "That's an accomplishment?" hahaha

I was laid off in about 2011 from a different part time. I only lasted for about a few months. It was my first official job while being on break from college and not affiliated with a summer school program. It was incredibly stressful in that industry as a coffee girl. People who aren't hyped up on their caffeine yet, giving you a damned hard time. Pair that with little assistance from co workers doesn't keep things running smoothly. Ya know, teamwork makes the job work. But I learned a lot though, and seeing donuts that aren't lined up correctly bugs me til this day.

How you want yo coffee?

Another place years later just wasn't working for me. Unfortunately, they wanted me to be there everyday after I left school, which meant me spending money I didn't really have to be there, and also me using up days to be doing art or networking for my true passion. There were a lot of other problems too other than just work ones and I rather not bitch too much about. lol But.... I got to learn an ipad program.... yippu?

I've been trying to find a place that would let me be there and grow in my own way ( I think I kinda found one for the time being), but, I guess a lot of places want you to be on it like 0 to 100 from the get go, and a lot of places I applied to was more like a gamble than anything! It was more like a "Why not?" as I sent in applications. Not to mention trying to gain experience in places where your school conflicts with their schedule and what not.

My uniform isn't as cute as my coffee girl apron tho

 Even though I'd rather be behind a computer or a phone, I have shaken off a lot of the jitters when it comes to talking and approaching people, and it feels good to accomplish some goals too. My supervisor has been pretty cool, and so have the lot of my new coworkers. I am still learning and nothing is perfect, but I try my best. Some days start off better than others, some days have more accomplishments than others.

Since a grocery store chain has been competing with a relatively new one, we have been doing some pretty cool stuff every now and again, like slot machines! The customers seemed to like it!

I have been trying to take on a second job, more so in my career path to keep my creative energies alive.

Breaking up!

Some break ups can be hard to handle. All the time spent with someone... just to have it slowly fade.Wanting things to work out and trying to express your wants and needs... but its not really happening. Ah... feels not so good, does it?

But, what if that break up is for yourself? For you to be happy?
Well... I am going to break up with Sprint.
:p
 I have been with them for about 7 or maybe 8 years.
They just aren't cutting it for me with high prices when my budget is already tight.

I will admit, their customer service has gotten better over the years, but its just not feasible at the moment. I am looking forward to a new phone and have been looking at a few new companies. Its been a couple of years that I wanted to make a switch over, but thought , 'Nah.. maybe another two years.' Then it drags out longer.

I get kinda iffy and stall with things like this. Maybe it will be a Christmas gift to myself or something, lol! I'd prolly have all the details and what phone I want by then. I will most likely stay with Android phones.
Not that much into iPhones, even though they get some cool apps at times.

Relaxation as a Workoholic Pt2

Yes, MOAR BEACH.

I got invited to go to the beach this Sunday. I had recieved a text saying to bring usual things (towels, blankets etc) and pillows. I was confused. Pillows... to the beach?
But, even random things like that come in  handy.

This was maybe the first time I took a nap at the beach.
And maybe even the first time of swimming at one too!

Tanning my sausage legs

Selfies before naptime

Edging towards the water

 We also went swimming too. The water was so cold and it took me a while to get used to it. After a few attempts, I had found myself thigh deep in cold water. The second go round, up to my chest. Though a little odd to.

It has been toooo long since I swam. Maybe a bit over a decade ago? It felt really good.The waves were a little strong to really get far by swimming, which was a lil sad. 

Sucks that summer is almost over and I totally did not take advantage of June and July to explore a lot. Oh well. I don't have to take classes at all this fall, so that is a plus and a block of time that can be used for something interesting.

Circle Lens Review!

Geo Nudy Grey Review

 Click for the Video version!

So, over the years, Geo Nudy lens have been my fave! I am not sure why I gravitated to that particular style. It has a very soft look to them and a halo effect when you shift your gaze over. I was new to coloured contact lens when I purchased my first pair in like '09. I didn't want to get brown or black because that was too normal, and I was a little too shy to purchase a really in your face colour! So I chose grey!

I also am very picky when it comes to circle lens selection if I don't have something in mind right away. Though I have tried some various other colours, I really like grey lens and Nudy Grey style the most for non "normal" days. 

CUTE BOX

I stopped purchasing from my original lens carrier and decided to go with Maples Lens thanks to Pepa's suggestion. 

The lens are named Geo Super Nudy grey, priced at 18.90$USD, not including shipping. 

Let the Super Magic begin!!

Specs:

Diameter : 14.8mm

Water Content : 42%
Base Curve : 8.6mm
Life Span : 1 Year Disposal

They arrived pretty damned fast! About, 2 days after purchasing! WOWZERS. Most people, including yours truly, get lens about a week or two after purchasing and I've heard horror stories of people not getting their lens after like a month or so! Not having a long waiting time to get your coveted lens is a big plus for me!

I thought that these would be bigger than my older Nudy Lens, but appeared a tad smaller for whatever reason while in the animal soaking case.

Video Comparison

The limbal ring is a lot darker than the other Nudy Lens type. I think this helps enhance the halo effect. 

Bright light

Comparison

The top one is the Super Nudy, the bottom just Nudy. The Super Nudy has a smaller inner circle unfilled by colour than its counter part.

Comparison

Regular Nudy on the left has a lighter and fainter edge and colour than the Super Nudy on the right.

I think I will keep Maples Lens bookmarked from now on. Their shipping was awesome and very unexpected.

Colour: 4/5  

Comfort: 4.5/5 

Design: 3.5/5 ( I like the pixelated design compared to some other circle lens lovers) It doesn't show up that much when you aren't super close to someone and it isn't that bright.

I think Super Nudy will be one of my on hand lenses. Love them so much!

Flirting!

I am all up for learning! Even when I should be sleeping. So I HAD to check this video out. They mentioned one thing that I did not understand before when it happened....





er... Changing the subject and walking away? Thats a part of flirting?? I missed a cue before? (>.>)  (<.<) it just seems bizarre not "be more interested in me".  Humans are weirdos~
I think I will need to amp up my flirting skills. I get misunderstood and misunderstand when people "flirt". Why not just make different coloured smoke signals instead? I think that is a better idea!

Maybe....

New Nail!

A new nail for a new month! This time, I wanted to go clear + a design instead of the usual glitter nails.

Nail station set up. I keep all my supplies that I will use over the next few hours close by. I have been doing gel nails for about a year or so instead of acrylics. Though they are said to be less strong than acrylics, I feel that they look a bit better. And for this project, they seem to come out a little clearer than acrylic solutions.

Hello August

Its a bit surprising that 2014 is more than half over now. 2015 will be on its way, and another year will have passed. It will almost be a year of being out of school come this December. Almost a full year of not being a student and enrolled in classes.

My friend is starting her year of living in Japan now. I look forward to seeing her blog updates and hoping that I too will be able to go on an adventure there.

I'm trying to keep up with post-college stuff, finding work, freelance, and trying to keep myself from drowning in thoughts and neglecting things and looking forward to things that make me happy. Idk, Some days I feel really ambitious, and the ideas and courage come bursting out. Some days, I get discouraged and feel like hikkomori-ing myself in my room for some days.

Its something I am trying to shake off for years now. Get some sort of balance going, keep up that momentum. But it never seems to last too long.

Buuuuut, I have been making and uploading a few new Youtube videos again. I got pretty inspired taking in new music, videos, and also video suggestions from Ultra and Tairen. So I feel pretty good about that! I have some ideas I just need to get out of my head. Cooler ones than just make-up tutorials that I have been doing for a long time. Even though my latest video is a makeup tutorial, it has been sitting for months waiting to be finished. So I guess that's ok. lol

sidenote: There will be a video to piggyback off of my Youtube Welcome video eventually and a video that will be coming out in 16 days! I think it's cool and hope you all will like it too.

Though I like that I am making some new stuff here and there, I feel kind of guilty in a way. I should be focusing my time on job and career stuff. But... it's a part of the creative field... kinda. hahaha.

Lets my mind take a break from staring at words and corporate speak and whatnot.

I have been getting a lot of advice from coworkers, friends, and art buddies. Sometimes its a lot to take in and process with so many other ideas and what not, but I am grateful.

2014.08.03

I went out to eat with a few friends at Strings in Chinatown. It has been a while since I had a decent meal due to being stressed out and what not. (╯︵╰,)

 We also tried the Stringeria, which I think is perfect for summertime sipping. Very fruity ❤

I didn't get enough pictures with Sandra before she left! I loved her outfit and shoes!

My Bowl. Miso Ramen with Pork

SO jelly that I don't have and orgasmic egg in there!! Would have loved to trade it with my corn lol.

 After moseying around in Chinatown and totally missing the snack shop due to closing hours, we headed to Alan's hotel to chill for a few hours.

PARTAY TAIMU

I haven't seen Alan since... last year I think? I thought I would have had to wait to next Acen to chill with him. But I am glad that wasn't the case!

It felt really good to break away from thinking about work and what not and staying indoors. Thanks you all! I really appreciate it. ^w^) Until next time~

Natural Hair Progress

I have never been the one to over perm my hair, or do it frequently. Maybe a few times a year and especially for summer to help combat the humidity on my hair when I style it.

A few years back, I had to take a hiatus on styling my own hair due to a mishap with some over bleached hair and a relaxer. Let's just say that the damage was not sexy at all!

No more blonde bangs, no more relaxing my hair, and eventually, hiding my hair away from using heat a lot so my hair could grow out.

Back then, my hair was barely past my collar bone.

So You Ballsy, huh?

Recently, some guy from some college went "ballsy" on his resume, and BAM! Job offers!

Good for him. But how does that really work in normal life though? Resumes get tossed or overlooked for whatever reason. I get it, hundreds of people trying to fill a couple of positions and a lot will get the boot. A lot of people get rejected. Thats a lot of time searching for the "right" candidate with a piece of paper and words doing the talking for them.

So, if someone else were to take that risk, not make things sounds good or whatever, would they get the same treatment? Or just get their resume tossed in the can instead? Will more companies start looking for this sort of thing? But then things will start to get very monotonous and drab because EVERYONE trying to be "trendy" with their resume. (this is going beyond networking I am assuming too, just resume/cover letter submissions.)

Messages come to me in my life with this sort of thing:
 "Be yourself!" But not really, lol.
 "Believe in yourself!" But not too much. Don't want to seem like a cocky bastard or whatever.
 "Put this on your resume!" Nah... maybe not. Irrelevant shit.
 "This will make you seem interesting!" Or just weird.

I did. Maybe I am not being "ballsy" enough. Or not making things seem that interesting. But, this is for normal people life. Not anything eccentric or artsy. Not companies that will care if I can make content for Youtube or a blog, or draw a pretty picture. (maybe I should be my weirdo self and find these places out or something that would appreciate this!.......)

Even for things eccentric or artsy, I feel that things just don't go "right". Indian guy looking for an assistant, thinks I'm Italian because of my name and the way I sound on the phone, sounds disappointed upon hearing I'm Black.
Try to fit in like its fuckin high school or something with people totally out of my comfort/economic/status zones, and it backfires in my face.

But I keep smiling away, and try to! (imagine eye twitching too, like in animes or something)

I get it, rejection is part of the process. Eventually something will come through. Things don't happen overnight. They wanna see if you will crumble and give up. Eventually it will be the other way around and I will be the one making the choices. Keep truckin. The universe will work itself out. I can laugh about this stuff when I am 30 or 40... But...

wtf. Am I not supposed to do what they say or what I read or something? I took those classes on how to speak to people better and network and listened to what some people had to say to try to do better in situations I am not familiar in and level up on my skills and when I practice some of it.... I feel naive... especially for concentrating more on portfolio pieces. Humans can be so damn confusing sometimes!

I don't want to jinx myself for the future as I am getting sabotaged anyway, but IDK. Normal life, reality.... just kinda sucks up my energy right now and makes no sense, and its tiring.
There is too much to do, too many ideas in my head swirling about, and I am aching.

I wonder if things would have been different if I went out of state for college or something? Left Chicago for a different city or leave the USA all together after graduating?  Or didn't act like myself in job interviews? Or sent out a wacky, ballsy resume to companies.... What if What if What if...

MAN! The possibilities of different paths that could have happened are endless!

In Alice in Wonderland terms... maybe I have to fall down a different rabbit hole for this to make sense or something.

/rant over.

Please enjoy my next post on hair and my newest Youtube tutorial in normal people hours.