Gyaru Spotlight: Ari Marie

 This (cross posted) Gyaru Spotlight is for Ari Marie! 

I met her around 2010 or so when she applied to a nago-sa project co-founded by me and LA. We didn’t give her a clear cut answer as the Chicago nago-sa/gyaru project was having internal issues that needed to be resolved first and foremost. Our bad for not being upfront about that when you applied. 

Your makeup and hairstyling improved so much over the years. I believe you went to cosmetic school as well, and you were gaining skills. How did that turn out for you?

Twinsies!

  

(Trigger warning for sensitive people)

You had asked me if being fat was illegal in Japan. As an American living in America and in an ethnic group with a different body beauty standard, and not familiar with the totality of Japanese beauty standards, I did not know what to say. I did not know, but I could tell that it was something that was troubling you.

However, I am glad that it did not deter you from getting into gal and having fun and meeting up with you many years later. And, despite things being misconstrued from me during our time apart in different gal circles, I am glad that we didn't beef or fight despite someone wanting us to.

I hope you’re doing well in your career, Ari.

Best wishes 

Stay tuned for more Gals int the Spotlight!

Movie Analysis: Nobody Knows

Have you ever had a movie that you’ve watched stick with you after you’ve watched it? I have. I was chatting about current movies the other day and later reflected about the ones I’ve already seen. “Nobody Knows” is one of them. Its not a gyaru movie, but a Japanese one that gave me a glimpse of what some kids may be going through, or have gone through in broken homes in Japan. 

      A pensive, triggering movie suggested to me where a mom moves and finds a new apartment in a new part of town. She introduces herself and her eldest son, Akira to the other tenants, and goes to finish moving in. 

<b>Spoilers ahead!</b>

This is when it is made aware that the facade wears off, and there are other children whom she sneaks in via a route where it shows a hint of her apathy. The children are hidden in the moving vehicle, and possibly a way to conceal them a lot better during the move as driving them unsafely would be more of a risk, or possibly less of a thrill. The younger children seem to think it is an adventure, and aren’t questioning why they have to be snuck in, or why they are forced to be quiet. They accept it as their reality.

Akira, the eldest son, is seen running errands, cooking for him and his siblings, and keeping up with his studies to the best of his abilities. Though he seems to be a “good kid” taking on all of these tasks, he isn’t enjoying life as a child, and is putting the needs of his mother and siblings first. Meanwhile, his mother returns home late each night or the next day after going on dates with men. It’s not clear what her job is, but it can be surmised. 

In one scene, she comes home drunk, and sits with her offspring. At this moment, she mentions to them who the fathers of the children might be, and gives insight to what has been driving her to be with them: money and stardom. When she spends time with her children, though it seems that the conversations are a little cute and playful, I find her a quite naive and as if she is tolerating them than having fun and enjoying their company. 

The mother eventually abandons her children, seeing them as a hinderance to the new lifestyle she wishes to pursue. Akira takes on the tasks and stresses of managing a household without a caring, empathetic mother and a strong father figure for his siblings, and yearns for normalcy. He is a young kid after all, yet is encumbered with responsibilities that are far too advanced for him. 

I wonder if the mother was in a similar situation as a child and wonder if getting pregnant by mistake or on purpose to feel important in a man's life and to keep him, and having to learn the hard way that children are a large responsibility... and quite expensive! Or, could it be that she has them and may be treating them poorly to get back at the men who she became pregnant by? 

I wonder if it is a pattern that the mother has seen in her life; if her own home was just as broken, and not knowing what healthy relationships were. Perhaps she is chasing a father figure and the lack of his care and attention through her (failed) relationships, and cannot build upon her own self esteem and self worth because of his absence. 

This concludes my thoughts on this movie at this time. Its been so long since I've seen it, and its now available for free on Youtube. 

Let me know what you think of it.

Mata ne ✧˖°

Veteran Gals Vs. Newbie Gals

Its a thing currently. 

As I dive gently back into the realm of online gyaru worlds, I am met with tons of posts that I would have loved as a beginner gal. There is so much content out there to inspire and enjoy. Some things, also bring to light some of the darkside of Japan and several different fashion subcultures like Jiraikei.

Amongst the plethora of nostalgic fashion posts, or people debating whether or not manba is offensive to black people, I am met with posts declaring how mean and callous gaijin gyaru veterans are. I am met with posts about how ignorant and helpless newbie gals are.

But perhaps, it was always like this. People involved and interested in the subculture are vocalizing it even more now. And, I am also not multitasking with multiple projects like before that had more of my attention and bandwidth.

As a former beginner gal, I had gotten some amazing constructive criticism and advice that I received that propelled my makeup and hair styling skills as a person who was initially only comfortable... er... "comfortable" with using a pencil eyeliner. 

But, as I stated on one of my socials, was that there were people that gave me heat about me doing "rokku" gyaru before it was cool as well as wearing things like Tripp pants while styling myself as a manba gyaru. The reasoning was that manba gyaru were supposed to only be colourful.  Though some of the disrespect I recieved wasn't due to my style, it was interesting. Perhaps a way to show dominance as I was putting forth effort. 

After joining Diamond gyaru sa and after it disbanding, I was in forums giving advice to newbies with some other gaijin gyaru at the time. It was fun, and also a place where people went to get their style evaluated to be able to know what to do next time. On gyaru secrets however, people were torn apart for even trying, or... for trying AND succeeding. 

Haters gonna hate.

I recall chatting on the phone with one particular gaijin gyaru who had offered me advice that I put into practice and her telling me how a newbie was asking her, as well as myself and several others for advice. This particular newbie was asking the same questions over and over, yet there was no effort into putting that advice into action. Eventually, they just moved on. 

Behaviours like that, even outside of gyaru fashion, is deemed as annoying and not taking the other person's time seriously. I do not think the particular seasoned gal was being callous towards them, but imagine helping someone to only have them do nothing! 

I am sure there are people that are just blatantly disrespectful, and sometimes some people aren't practicing the style and decide to lash out at people who do or who are interested. Perhaps feeling jealous over those who have the confidence to do than just watch. There are also newbies who don't want to take advice to get the results that they want. And there are also a few newbies that are disrespectful as well.

Though the community has these issues, you can still enjoy the style and lifestyle if you'd like. 

Mata ne 

Gyaru Themed Phone Wallpapers

 It’s been a long time since I’ve done gyaru themed items here on this blog. Posts about scenarios and what would you do in them and my mission statement, my values etc is great especially with what has happened with meeting new people who seem to be oblivious about that, but what about the MAIN topic of this blog, Gyaru‽ 

So, I’ve dedicated some time to finding some cute wallpapers that you can decorate your Home Screen with. If you need these in a bigger size, let me know. 

Enjoy. 

White leather, bow, and quilt 

quilting and gems

Blinged out pink theme

Pink,  black, and animal print

Old school, pre jirai Ma*rs Theme

Kawaii Floral Liz Lisa, pre jirai

Sweet Pink Chocolate theme

Not a gyaru brand, just really cute

Credit goes to the owners of these images.

GAL💎VIP

 

Hey rockstar⭐︎

Besides writing for my blogs & a site for gaming& tech, did you know I also wrote a few articles for GAL💎VIP?

During the year of 2012-2013, there was so much going on outside of Amerigyaru and college senior life. I was quite busy at the time, but it felt great dedicating some of that time and effort for the gyaru comm. 

I was given prompts to write about; very different topics than what I’d normally write about for my own blog or for the gaming/tech site. I hope my articles,(non alc.) beverages and managing S.A.D.S. (Seasonal Affective Disorder) helped you❤️. 

Mata ne 🌺

Spotlight: Atelier Pierrot; Size Range Increase!

I am so excited that a lolita brand, Atelier Pierrot is increasing their size range! As a J-fashion blogger and enthusiast, I am always impressed when brands are inclusive or become inclusive for other body types, whether it be Western ones or Japanese ones. March 11th starts their Plus Sized Fashion Festival and sale to cater to the Western and plus sized fans of their designs. You can now fawn over posts of their latest pieces on their social media.

Ebunny, a twitch streamer, singer and former onee gyaru, modeled for Atelier Pierrot and looks gothically amazing in the tiered skirts and gentle ruffles.

A qoute from her instagram:

"The Japanese elegant gothic lolita fashion community usually doesn't see someone like me representing brand clothing for lolita. As someone who's loved egl fahion for almost 20 years, I cannot tell you how proud I am to be a full figured, plus size, thicc, whatever adjective you like to use (lol) black woman modeling for a lolita brand in Japan. This is a type of representation I would've loved to see as a child, but sometimes you gotta be the change you wanna see!

Thank you to all the hardworking Japanese and non-Japanese staff at Atelier Pierrot for making the investent and effort to produce high quality lolita fawshion clothing in plus sizes. Egl should be for everyone to enjoy regardless of size, race, gender, height, etc. They are taking small steps everyday in the right direction."

You can follow the brand here to keep updated on their designs. And here is a link to the dress modeled by the lovely Ms. Ebunny herself.

You can follow Ms. Ebunny here on her IG.

Have fun!

SHIBUYA! by softboiledegg

softboiledegg of the legendary egg gyaru magazine just dropped a new catchy song four days ago after sharing some behind the scenes clips on their Tiktok. I was curious how it will turn out as there were clips of gals doing parapara to a nonstandard beat in the background while two of them had close ups of them rapping/singing. Its also a bit refreshing to see a more recognizable gal makeup being worn by the main artists of the song. The song is also complete with some wild lyrics, but what could be wilder than opening your song with how fresh and clean.... you are from their song Gal is Mind?

Check it out here:

If you are a para2x fiend and interested in learning the parapara shown in the video, they published the routine as well.

It looks fairly easy for people accustomed to the dance, and should not be too difficult for beginners getting their feet wet with routines.

Will you be learning the Shibuya! dance?

The Fine Line Between Normal and Special

Having been heavily in the gyaru scene since 2010 after being on a gaming platform around 2007-2009, I experienced moments of pseudo "celebrity". Though small in comparison to some of the well known names out there, and there were others who were cooler or more kawaii, at the time it was a big deal in this little bubble. It was thrilling at times, but the amount of progress I felt was needed, becoming a sell out, and what content should I publish to entertain hundreds of people is something I had to think about constantly.

Partaking in a hobby and experimenting with hair and make up styles was fun, but I would purposefully not promote my blog that much, in fear of making the others around me upset by the numbers I was acquiring. (Yes, bold, rocker gyaru Lisha was anxious about making people upset!) Hell, I could have been trolled for all I know! But for some people, each like and each follow is one they don't have, and that affects their self worth and sense of self at the end of the day. To some people, they feel entitled to the likes and love out there, and you are taking up too much attention that they are not getting.

Gaining hundreds of followers and thousands of views at the time from the entries I shared, while still acting as if it didn't matter was something that led to quite a few wonky moments and Chigyaru drama. Other's saw me as "popular", and popular/rich people are used for their clout and resources. They take the pictures, say they are friends and give a compliment or two amidst a snide comment, and later dump you or slander you to seem like the better option and move on to someone else a little cooler after they have poached your followers or friends. Sometimes, a person you are dating hates that you are so visible and are striving for goals that they may not have the diligence and discipline to do themselves. Your own partner can sometimes be your biggest hater, and want to see you fail miserably. And sometimes, there are people that agree with that and take actions or inactions that follow that mindset.

Part of me feels it so silly. But when these situations have affected my personal and private facets of my life over a course of 14 years after giving someone a win by letting them and others "have" a promiscious partner and more of the spotlight, its no longer silly. Its serious.

Friend/Partner Poaching

Recently on social media, my former feed of pictures of food and statements of "its better being solo than surrounded by people that don't like you" is now filled with random stories about friendship or partner/boyfriend poaching and situations of overly humbling (or outright disrespecting (Black) women (ie. Rihanna x Chris Brown, Beyonce and Jayz, Ciara and that one guy before her current husband Russel) who are successful and the critiques on such circumstances.

This kind of poaching is regarding someone taking your friend and excluding you out of the relationship. Essentially, "stealing" your friend from you. This can also happen when you are dating or in a romantic relationship, and your friend wants to "steal" your partner from you, causing your boyfriend to cheat on you if he has no empathy or respect for you.

Apparently, women who go for married men, or unavailable men feel as if they need to "win" and be better by showing their worth by being able to seduce someone away. They get the feelings of feeling better than you, hotter than you, sexier than you, and this boosts their ego and makes them feel powerful if something is triggering them to feel less than. It is also a breach of trust if this person was considered a friend or claimed to be, and simply is a form of disrespect for boundaries, and a "power move" to become dominant and cause pain to the other party.

As for friendships, I haven't seen a lot on the topic outside of the "stolen" friend having more clout or popularity which makes them seem cool or pretty to be around them, or that the new friend has resources, money, a car, or connections to be used for their own benefit. You are left behind because they didn't want you, but what the people around you can do for them and their social status even if they cannot reciprocate.

How to NOT Dox Yourself

Keeping yourself safe is pretty standard advice.

So is making sure that when you hand your resume to someone who is a complete stranger to you to "fix" that they are someone you trust with that information. A stranger can go and see where you are working, and if you are getting out of an abusive relationship, you don't want that person knowing where you are since they are not capable of respecting your boundaries and treating you with respect.They have the potential and will/might just cause drama with the people around you and get you fired. A stranger who may be a win-at-all-costs sadistic, bruised ego type can have access to your references that may have loved you and your work ethic before, and "furnace your references".

Get it? Like, you can furnish or provide the references but those same people can have the relationship bridge be "furnaced"... like burnt. Scorched earth, burned bridges... no more friends...no support system....(geez... at least chuckle a little... i'll take a groan or rolled eyes.... lol)

Anyway, that bridge to your reference helping you out will be burned by a stranger pretending to help you... JUST FOR YOU! You didn't need them anyway! Because why have people make sure you can keep a roof over your head when you can struggle instead? Why have people be concerned for your wellbeing when you can have those people ignoring you when they said that you can always visit them and count on them? Who needs references and peers from top universities or colleagues granting a good word or business oppurtunities? Certainly not you!

Oh wait... you actually want those references and need a good word put in for you to advocate for your personality or work ethic? Then make sure who ever is working on your resume actually is trusted, or just look on google for some templates and examples. Sometimes a basic resume is better to land the job of your dreams than one barely being edited that hinders your ability to freely choose a career or job of your choice.

Donations can be sent to my paypal account to support the blog. Unless you want to stay anonymous to be safe, written thank you will be in the next post.

What Would You Do? Scapegoat Edition

b>

So.... what does one do when you make acquaintances with people that hate who you are as a person and can only downplay your achievements, never congratulate you, never be happy for you about anything. What do you do when these random people who smile at you and then get in the way of your career centered connections or even followers and act as if they don't know what they are doing but still want to be in your pictures and blog because its somewhat "popular" at the time or want you to devote all your time for no monetary compensation for "exposure"?(And the kind of exposure that helps you land customers or help you out, but it just "exposes" all the "negative" things you've said or done so people will end up not supporting your efforts. That you become isolated and can't even hustle to bring in money for basic needs, a sort of financial abuse if you will.)

Apparently, hanging out with them and giving them the benefit of a doubt time and time again doesn't work, nor humbling yourself so much so it makes people comfortable. Apparently, collaborating with them, does not work, nor changing the subject when there are topics I don't like come up. Apparently, keeping them close gives them oppurtunities to use my name and connection to discredit me or say anything negative to anyone that would listen and have it seem credible because of being "friends" on facebook, or to propell themselves farther. I word that someone told me was "oppurtunistic". Apparenty, Burberry handbags, that may or may not be authentic, are apologies for actions that are never fully rectified and never will be because thats who they are. This is what I learned, slowly but surely over those long 14 years. Being told I was being scapegoated for someone else's problems that were there before I met them.

Apparently, the actions that I have taken 14 years ago after becoming single and creating a few groups to help the main group's goals I was in, and continuing on with acquantainces that were in love with someone who was extremely incompatible with me did more harm than good as a gaijin gyaru/alternative fashion blogger and hobbyist was NOT the best course of action.

It is interesting being reduced to a sex object by women so concerned about that facet of my life while I was more interested in creating art and finishing college. That these strangers, random people, will never see me as the college student and artist that I was at the time delving into online communties. It is interesting never speaking my mind about those situations, thinking that if I wasn't getting flustered, that I could focus on something else. No, these strangers SEE that I do art, creating hairpieces and etc... but they don't want to acknowledge and hate that I am able to do those things.

What I've learned its... Moving on is great even after realizing that things are not going as planned, but not when you inadvertedly dox yourself by giving someone your resume that is not helping you in the gaming/gal/regular community and never will because they don't want you to make profits. Moving on is great when you aren't adding people who are being disrespectful to you. Moving on is great when you don't tell people whwere you work or go to school when you have a somewhat initially strong online presence. Moving on is great when you can make sure that no one is sabotaging your personal life and your regular jobs. Moving on is great when you aren't opening yourself and your personal life up to people that want to say horrible things to the people who are employing you so that your support system falls away or starts treating you horribly as well. "Snubbing..." right?

What I've learned is that some people will never apologize for the things they have said, nor the actions they have done. They want to appear perfect to everyone despite everything that has happened, or want me to simply forget or otherwise... That they NEED someone so desperately to hold all these negative attributes for them. THEY cannot be overly sexual even if they are, because that doesn't align with their image they want people to believe. Someone else has to hold the burden, even unwittingly, as the sex symbol or promiscuous being. That me actually learning how to code, even just a bit, me actually knowing how to paint, going to college, continuing my education etc, is destroying the new image for me they are telling people about which would make them liars, haters, or just people who blurt out career destroying things.

If they were friends, wouldn't they come to me about our personal business and NOT spread "my" information to strangers in secret groups? If they were really friends, wouldn't they be bragging about my accomplishments? When did friends just want to humble you so much and make you out to be some monster who can't learn and NEED people to hate? To scapegoat and project all their issues on someone that would constantly come back and not question their actions? WHen did breaking up with someone become so troublesome? When has it been ok to tell private things or seemingly private things to strangers that you cant go to the person and seem to want to still have them around at the same time? Or is to ruin the "clout" and "popularity" i had so THEY wouldn't be overthrown or because they feel as if they were? I wonder who knows....

Have people been that hungry and entitled to attention and compliments and validation, and I just overlooked it? Did speaking negatively about me cure them of their issues or just gave them some sadistic pleasure to fiddle themselves at night?

Its a compliment to know that some people will always speak bad about me and have me be at the topic of their conversations if it helps soothe a bruised ego. Its weird, but a compliment and sense of odd validation that feels much stronger than inspiring people to dress in Jfashion, or get into gal to make a new gyaru circle that would overtake a group that should have never been, or being called pretty after caking on layers of make up and several pairs of eyelashes. Its more of a compliment than your hot crush wanting to kiss you at a mini after party after your so called "friend" claims she had a miscarriage with his baby and has been living under him not wanting to work. So, thank you acquaintaces for giving me the best validation of my life, despite it hindering finding regular work and people believing that we were actually close friends than people getting to know each other.

Life is strange.

Donations can be sent to my paypal account to support the blog. Unless you want to stay anonymous to be safe, written thank you will be in the next post..