Values, Failures, Mission Statement

Good evening! How are you? Are you doing alright after the pandemic and with all the chaos going on in the world? Are you doing alright with your work load or with the topics you are studying?

You know...this blog was generally centered around various aspects of my days throughout college, events I hosted with others, or what I found cool. However, it didn't allow much in the ways of getting to see your perspectives and such. And for that, I apologize. I did want to share with you some things. My content, projects and such were also a space for me to showcase the values that I held and not just cutely decorated nails, convention coverage and Jfashion trends. I thought that I was getting the message across and being open and accepting to the people around me despite the differences.

Looking back,one of the things I failed at was that I saw that I was NOT typing or verbally expressing them like I should in moments that occured. Redirecting conversations and not adding in comments is great, however, I did not fully get the message across. This caused a lot of misinterpretiations in and out of relationships with new acquantances and that can and possibly did reach others before they spoke with me which caused 2 things:

1. Me not being able to share my side or question the validity of what was said.

2. Not given the chance to apologize and talk it out with the persons who I seemed to offend who did not want to tell me but to broadcast it to others despite me having a policy of talking things out for clarification and improving relations.

A few more failures:

Not clarifying what I wanted in my relationships boundary wise; personal and professional, led to a lot of failures. Not stating who was actually a PR Person or not and the stance for my content and brand with them. Overlooking conflict in my personal/private relationship that I did not tend to in a timely manner which affected a multitude of connections. Not considering what a competitor told me; "You can't build a business with "friends"", and not questioning what they meant and how it would affect the projects I was collaborating on.

This has all been an interesting journey.

We deserve love - Anti Latinx/poc hate, fatphobia is not tolerated here

 For the most of us, we can all agree that we should all be able to be respected for who were are when it comes to our ethnicities, body types and for the languages that we speak beyond English and to have healthy high self esteem. We can also agree that the people who we follow or get involved with or who seek us out should have our best interests at heart and not play on our fears and insecurities. When we clarify and connect, we use our own thinking skills and avoid things damaging our self esteem and losing people who support us.  Some people are desperate to divide us by any means necessary to conquer and be perceived as perfect, popular and powerful. They use our bickering,pettiness, our falling outs, and even negative emotions to be able to do accomplish this because they fear us having a strong support group and potentially “losing”. 

More info on how this is achieved is below  ⬇️ 

-take the spotlight off of them and any negative actions they caused before throwing someone under the bus for fun/survival

-to throw someone under the bus, undermine their work and effort and silence them

-the reason why they brought up negativity in the first place  

-to create an enemy of a secret rival and to seem perfect to someone else’s audience and connections

-to keep their hands “clean” while others do their dirty work

-to avoid accountability (there is too much chaos happening.)

-to erode trust in between friends, fans, etc

-to not “lose” to someone they seem a rival 

This is a common tactic for rivals in and out of the game of politics which includes competing businesses and even relationships. 

This can cause one person or group to seem hateful and the other party to partake in actions that can create a negative response that can lead to a reaction that fulfills a prophecy as well as dividing groups and friendships and ruining trust.go

 It amplifies ordinary actions or lying about them and makes people take things out of proportion and to make something out of nothing without you using your own mind and skills for doing your own due diligence (asking for facts, clarity, even having that other party there to tell the side of their own story). 

When we take the time to think for ourselves and ask questions about their intent (doing our due diligence to make informed choices), we can overcome the hurdles of broken relationships, self esteem  and find common points to clarify and conmect. This can be scary for some people who rely on these tactics for power and popularity and winning at all costs. 

Anti Latinx or poc hate is not tolerated here

You know that at a certain distance, you might recognize someone or not by their gait or body type? Or if you didn’t know some groups of people could be taller or shorter and all that or that there could be similarities etc??I had an experience with that once, and it backfired on me and I didn’t have a chance to explain or even apologize or get some sort of  clarification. Especially to the people that mattered the most to me. 

I recall seeing someone that I THOUGHT was a Hispanic student at my school (the ones I knew were built muscular and that’s what I knew and saw during that time in my life. ) I didn’t realize until later that the particular person weren’t Hispanic at all,but that did not deter me from wanting to get to know them. 

I thought “oh! Didn’t know. (Moving on, new info acquired❣️),” and that person didn’t fit a certain mold (or stereotype either.) That helped me change my view on that, and I didn’t think that mistaking them for hispanic was a bad thing. When I started to have Latino friends I WAS made aware that you shouldn’t mix up the different Latino cultures/races and was thankful for that despite only knowing Mexican students in a class. 

I even brought it up when me and the male individual I mistook as Hispanic started talking because I thought it was silly of me and it was like one of those “how did you meet moments”. I didn’t know that they would find it insulting later on (even though they would tell me that other Mexicans thought he was one of them as well and they liked that he could speak some Spanish which made him happy and I suppose feel included. 

After 2010/2011 or so til a current interview I had, with a lot of other things in the middle of that time -being an entrepreneur or trying, my moms cancer diagnosis and death, not trying to drop out of school or fail due to my moms health,and taking a loss from a relationship, people started to hint at that I didn’t like Mexicans or Latinx people or Spanish language. It wasn’t as prevelant as it is now , but I found it odd. 

I did have someone tell me something’s that I didn’t agree with regarding Latinx men in 2010 ish, and i wasn’t as verbal and pushy on telling them that I will NOT have someone as a friend etc in my life that held that view. I also was focused more on “(poc) gal/alt fashion is life” than blantant anti racism advocacy. 

I didnt understand the context at the time of a low key phrasing, and though me and a woman were not friends and tried to do business collabs, I noticed that people treated me differently, thinking we were besties because we took a couple of pix together. Or that someone else could have misconstrued my words to only cast me in a negative light when we were not a good fit for each other and I wanted to move on whether or not I’d be cast as the villain for moving on. 

My Latinx friends that I respected, and even wished I was as talented and entrepreneurial like they were started to view me differently despite me never disrespecting them or having body language that showed I didn’t like their language. I didn’t want to be depressed and stressed out and not enjoy their company or feel like the sad Debbie downer with them. I couldn’t even enjoy the family summertime lunch I was invited to because of all the rumors and things I thought I could deal with on my own. 

If I could go back in time, it would have been lovely to clarify to them what I meant and not have people and even hiring managers think that I find other languages offensive due to someone misconstruing what I said when I wasn’t rejecting them based on race or looks. It would have been great to have been given space to rectify the situation one on one with them than hearing a rumor that I didn’t know where it could have came from at the time. 

I have to do better at advocating for my brothers and sisters of various races. We are all individuals after all and stereotypes and generalizations are hurtful, dehumanizing and  lazy. 

Afromexican article that you must read!

 Check out this amazing article from Black Girl Nerds on AfroLatinx people and history!!

https://blackgirlnerds.com/10-things-you-didnt-know-about-afro-mexicans/?fbclid=IwAR0B0-V1U2MsKn3xNSkoGdBscw9hX-35CTT2eClp8Q-W46Dn3pRawdQZgc4&mibextid=Zxz2cZ

 Sometimes the media or history books won’t tell you everything, and you have to have some experiences and get out to know and learn of new things. 

Growing up, telemundo was my initial liaison into some Spanish media/pop culture. They never (or at least rarely , it’s been YEARS since I was an active tv watcher in general, and I am not fond of making generalizations) showcased darker skinned Latinx people, let alone historical figures.

It seemed at the time for me, that Latinx people were only of light complexion since that was what I could see. As a kid, I don’t think I can even recall any celebs that were AfroLatinx, compared to when I had switched over into all the jpop stuff and being acquainted with Crystal Kay and some of her songs. 

I wonder how I would have felt if, even as a black American, how I’d react knowing that Spaniards, Mexicans etc were darker or had Afro decent than just what happened on plantations, or in places where the people are obviously Black from the Slave trade (the places that were covered mainly in the books I read) 

So, I am pretty grateful to be able to come across this article and learn new things about this world and the people on it. Things that have been kept hidden due to what schools WANT and being paid for us to know. I am sure that AfroLatinx kids can feel more included and special with info like this around too! ✨

Changes

 Currently revamping things for this new year so old posts and such aren’t available at this time. 

YouTube videos have followed suit as well, but I appreciate the comments and views that I received over the years when embarking on a journey of self discovery. That included my own fashion adventures and mishaps, as well as meeting people and coordinating events and learning about what it takes to be a gyaru or be in a group, let alone becoming a leader and group manager/coordinator and understanding what that entails from the ground up. It’s a lot of work and not just super kawaii sparklyness when you want to surpass just hanging out, to something that can be self sustainable and long lasting for ourselves and the community at large.   

This has tested me in ways that I would have never known it would, as I saw the fun clothes and sparklyness and happy fun times and just had that at the forefront of my mind than just studying and making grades. 

I am grateful for the lessons learned throughout all this, even when I didn’t understand it all at the time. 

Thank you